While reading Matthew 26 of Jesus praying in the garden, I saw how we should be praying when we pray for things.
I’m sure that most people know this, and I know that I’ve heard it before, but it really amazes me who Jesus prays.
He is grieved and overcome with pain about His coming death. He knows that this is what God has called Him to do. But He seems to not really know if He has the strength to go through with it.
I’m not trying to say that Jesus wasn’t strong enough to take what God had for Him. Just that it seems that He really wasn’t sure. I know that when I am upset about things and have come to God in prayer about them, it’s generally in a state of not knowing if I can handle whatever is coming towards me.
But still in His grief, He is very clear-headed while asking if there is any other way that this might happen. He knows what God is asking of Him. Yet He seeks out God to ask if there might possibly be another way. Maybe He doesn’t have to die. I’m sure there where a hundred different questions going through His mind while He prayed these prayers.
Yet He kindly asks if God can find another way. Then He shows us how we should pray.
“Not my will, but thine be done.”
Those are the words that we should pray when we come before God asking for anything.
He knows what is good for us and what we need. It’s not that bad or hard things won’t happen to us.
It’s more that in the midst of those things, we can call out to God and He will be there with us.
It’s still not easy to accept things sometimes. I totally understand that.
I have a hard time accepting the things that go on around me sometimes.
I have a hard time dealing with the effects of my depression and the effects it has on my family.
I have in the past prayed that God would take it from me. But that has yet to happen.
It’s hard to stay focused sometimes when we feel that our prayers aren’t heard.
But I do know that God is there, and He hears all of our prayers.
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
Monday, March 30, 2015
Lent day 41
I was reading in Pete Wilson’s book Plan B, and he was talking about community and how important it is to believers.
I’ve realized the same thing over the last few years.
I used to think that church was such a burden and the thought of having to go and share my life with other people just wasn’t worth it.
I couldn’t figure out how other people liked going to church so much. It didn’t make sense to me.
I could read the Bible on my own and have a relationship with God on my own. I didn’t need these other people to help me. They all seemed to be so messed up anyway. How could they help me even if they wanted to.
But recently I’ve come to understand that we really do need each other. We really do need to be in community with other believers.
Plus, as far as them all being messed up, I’ve realized that so am I. And that’s really the only real way for us to actually help each other.
If we think that our leaders are perfect then they won’t be able to help us.
If we think that in order to come before God or His church, we have to be perfect, we will never leave our houses.
We must realize that we are all broken people in need of an unbreakable God and the people He sends into our lives.
And the best place to find this, is in a church that understands these things.
I’ve realized the same thing over the last few years.
I used to think that church was such a burden and the thought of having to go and share my life with other people just wasn’t worth it.
I couldn’t figure out how other people liked going to church so much. It didn’t make sense to me.
I could read the Bible on my own and have a relationship with God on my own. I didn’t need these other people to help me. They all seemed to be so messed up anyway. How could they help me even if they wanted to.
But recently I’ve come to understand that we really do need each other. We really do need to be in community with other believers.
Plus, as far as them all being messed up, I’ve realized that so am I. And that’s really the only real way for us to actually help each other.
If we think that our leaders are perfect then they won’t be able to help us.
If we think that in order to come before God or His church, we have to be perfect, we will never leave our houses.
We must realize that we are all broken people in need of an unbreakable God and the people He sends into our lives.
And the best place to find this, is in a church that understands these things.
Sunday, March 29, 2015
Lent day 40
We sang this song in church a few weeks ago, and its quickly become one of my favorite songs.
Saturday, March 28, 2015
Lent day 39
It isn’t me, is it, Lord?
They each asked that question as Jesus told them that one of them would betray Him.
Surely it can’t be me.
I would never do such a thing.
I’m your disciple.
Also, knowing what I do about the way our human minds work, they probably looked around the table and debated the traits of the others sitting there.
I could never do this, but you know, I never really trusted that guy.
But I find it interesting that, at least in the account in Matthew, the only one that says it won’t be him is Peter. The rest seem to ask if it’s them.
Which brings up the question, did they all have doubts?
Were they all starting to wonder if they had hitched their wagons to the wrong horse?
In some ways I can totally understand.
They had probably expected Jesus to triumphantly enter Jerusalem with an army of angels to overthrow the Roman Empire and set up God’s Kingdom on earth.
But instead this man who they had put their trust, and more over, their entire lives, in had entered the city riding on a donkey.
To top it off He had started to give these cryptic warnings of His death.
What kind of savior is sent to die?
Maybe He wasn’t the one they thought He was.
In truth I think they all doubted Him at this point. They had seen Him do amazing things. Yet how could this man that was sent to save them talk about having to die?
We take for granted that we know the next chapter in the story. We’ve read the book and know how it ends.
But these guys are in the midst of it and don’t know what happens next.
It’s natural for them to doubt.
It’s also natural for us to doubt and to question things.
In my experience the only way to find your own way in faith is to question and seek answers to those questions.
Some answers we will never get on this side of heaven, as they say.
But we have to keep searching. Because it is also us standing before Jesus saying, “It isn’t me, is it?”
In truth it is us. We have betrayed Him with our actions.
It is I, Lord. Please forgive me.
They each asked that question as Jesus told them that one of them would betray Him.
Surely it can’t be me.
I would never do such a thing.
I’m your disciple.
Also, knowing what I do about the way our human minds work, they probably looked around the table and debated the traits of the others sitting there.
I could never do this, but you know, I never really trusted that guy.
But I find it interesting that, at least in the account in Matthew, the only one that says it won’t be him is Peter. The rest seem to ask if it’s them.
Which brings up the question, did they all have doubts?
Were they all starting to wonder if they had hitched their wagons to the wrong horse?
In some ways I can totally understand.
They had probably expected Jesus to triumphantly enter Jerusalem with an army of angels to overthrow the Roman Empire and set up God’s Kingdom on earth.
But instead this man who they had put their trust, and more over, their entire lives, in had entered the city riding on a donkey.
To top it off He had started to give these cryptic warnings of His death.
What kind of savior is sent to die?
Maybe He wasn’t the one they thought He was.
In truth I think they all doubted Him at this point. They had seen Him do amazing things. Yet how could this man that was sent to save them talk about having to die?
We take for granted that we know the next chapter in the story. We’ve read the book and know how it ends.
But these guys are in the midst of it and don’t know what happens next.
It’s natural for them to doubt.
It’s also natural for us to doubt and to question things.
In my experience the only way to find your own way in faith is to question and seek answers to those questions.
Some answers we will never get on this side of heaven, as they say.
But we have to keep searching. Because it is also us standing before Jesus saying, “It isn’t me, is it?”
In truth it is us. We have betrayed Him with our actions.
It is I, Lord. Please forgive me.
Friday, March 27, 2015
Lent day 38
I was reading today in Matthew 26 about the women who poured perfume on Jesus’ head and I realized how different Jesus’ response to her is then a lot of the world would have been.
Not only did He let her touch Him and pour the perfume on Him, which, if I remember right, in Jewish culture men and women who were not married wouldn’t have really touched each other, but He also says that her good deed will be told for ages to come where ever His story is told.
It says a lot about the views Christians should have towards women. So many times it seems like women have been marginalized and pushed to the side. Told to be quiet and just follow her man around doing whatever he desires of her.
But if you read the New Testament, you get a vastly different view on women.
In the genealogy of Jesus, you see several times where the women are pointed out and exalted.
Jesus had several women in His inner circle and treated women as equals.
It doesn’t really seem to me that He ever really talks down to them in any way. In fact I would say He tends to lift them up.
After His resurrection, the first person He chose to show Himself to, was a women. He could have chosen anyone anywhere. But He chose Mary Magdalene.
I think this goes with the things Jesus has taught us all along. His mission was not to the well off, or to the already saved people.
His mission was to reach the unreachable.
Tough the untouchable.
Speak the unspeakable.
Challenge the unchallenged.
And this is the mission He called us too also.
Not only did He let her touch Him and pour the perfume on Him, which, if I remember right, in Jewish culture men and women who were not married wouldn’t have really touched each other, but He also says that her good deed will be told for ages to come where ever His story is told.
It says a lot about the views Christians should have towards women. So many times it seems like women have been marginalized and pushed to the side. Told to be quiet and just follow her man around doing whatever he desires of her.
But if you read the New Testament, you get a vastly different view on women.
In the genealogy of Jesus, you see several times where the women are pointed out and exalted.
Jesus had several women in His inner circle and treated women as equals.
It doesn’t really seem to me that He ever really talks down to them in any way. In fact I would say He tends to lift them up.
After His resurrection, the first person He chose to show Himself to, was a women. He could have chosen anyone anywhere. But He chose Mary Magdalene.
I think this goes with the things Jesus has taught us all along. His mission was not to the well off, or to the already saved people.
His mission was to reach the unreachable.
Tough the untouchable.
Speak the unspeakable.
Challenge the unchallenged.
And this is the mission He called us too also.
Thursday, March 26, 2015
Lent day 37
Today I was reading again in Matthew 25 where Jesus is talking about what we’ve done to the least of these we’ve done to Him.
N.T. Wright talked about some of the things that I talked about yesterday, but as usual he said it better and in more complete thoughts.
He pointed out that it’s not that the ones who took care of Jesus, knew that was what they were doing when they did it. They just saw people in need and helped them. They didn’t need to have an item on a list checked off. They just knew that these people needed help and they could help them. So they did.
That’s the way Christians should act.
I was reading an article in Relevant Magazine the other day about the race issues that have been happening and how we should be handling them as Christians. The article was by Christian rap artist Propaganda. I’ve gotten into his music lately and was excited to read this article by him. His dad was a Black Panther and he’s dealt with these issues in his music.
He said in the article, “Christians, of all people, should put their arms around a hurting person. You don’t need to know why they hurt.”
That really stuck with me, because in so many ways today, we, as Christians, are known by our hate. People assume that if we are Christians, then we hate all of these things.
That is so sad. Jesus called us to be known by our love. To love all of those around us. Even to love our enemies and those that hate us.
We should not be spreading hatred.
We should be spreading love.
God loved us when we hated Him. Jesus died for us while we turned our backs on Him.
How can we who know this life changing love, not spread it to all of those around us. No matter what their circumstances.
N.T. Wright talked about some of the things that I talked about yesterday, but as usual he said it better and in more complete thoughts.
He pointed out that it’s not that the ones who took care of Jesus, knew that was what they were doing when they did it. They just saw people in need and helped them. They didn’t need to have an item on a list checked off. They just knew that these people needed help and they could help them. So they did.
That’s the way Christians should act.
I was reading an article in Relevant Magazine the other day about the race issues that have been happening and how we should be handling them as Christians. The article was by Christian rap artist Propaganda. I’ve gotten into his music lately and was excited to read this article by him. His dad was a Black Panther and he’s dealt with these issues in his music.
He said in the article, “Christians, of all people, should put their arms around a hurting person. You don’t need to know why they hurt.”
That really stuck with me, because in so many ways today, we, as Christians, are known by our hate. People assume that if we are Christians, then we hate all of these things.
That is so sad. Jesus called us to be known by our love. To love all of those around us. Even to love our enemies and those that hate us.
We should not be spreading hatred.
We should be spreading love.
God loved us when we hated Him. Jesus died for us while we turned our backs on Him.
How can we who know this life changing love, not spread it to all of those around us. No matter what their circumstances.
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
Lent day 36
“Whatever you have done to the least of these, you have done to me.”
These are some of the most powerful words that I think Jesus spoke.
He not only calls us to care about what happens to those around us, but to go out of our way to take care of those who can’t take care of themselves.
I think it’s natural for us to want to just stay in our nice little bubble and pretend that we don’t have these things going on around us.
But no matter where you live there are strangers around you that you could invite into your life.
There are those who are hungry and thirsty that you could give food and water to.
Naked that you could clothe.
Sick or imprisoned to visit.
I think one of the hardest things for me is that I don’t want to do these things because they will get me into heaven.
I don’t think that God will seriously look at a checklist and see if I have fulfilled each and every requirement He has listed.
If we do these things to check them off our list, then I think we are kind of sinning in a way.
If we help out those around us just to look good. Then, as Jesus said, we have gained our reward from those we were looking to please.
But if we do these things out of the outpouring of God’s love into our lives.
Then God will welcome into heaven with the words, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”
These are some of the most powerful words that I think Jesus spoke.
He not only calls us to care about what happens to those around us, but to go out of our way to take care of those who can’t take care of themselves.
I think it’s natural for us to want to just stay in our nice little bubble and pretend that we don’t have these things going on around us.
But no matter where you live there are strangers around you that you could invite into your life.
There are those who are hungry and thirsty that you could give food and water to.
Naked that you could clothe.
Sick or imprisoned to visit.
I think one of the hardest things for me is that I don’t want to do these things because they will get me into heaven.
I don’t think that God will seriously look at a checklist and see if I have fulfilled each and every requirement He has listed.
If we do these things to check them off our list, then I think we are kind of sinning in a way.
If we help out those around us just to look good. Then, as Jesus said, we have gained our reward from those we were looking to please.
But if we do these things out of the outpouring of God’s love into our lives.
Then God will welcome into heaven with the words, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
Lent day 35
I was reading today in Plan B by Pete Wilson, and came across something that I’ve thought of and maybe even have written about before on here.
He was talking about when the Israelites were about to cross the Jordan River to take the Promised Land.
God called them to take the first step on faith into the Jordan River. The river was a the flood stage and would have been a fast-moving river. But God calls them to step into it and then He will stop the river and they can cross it.
I think that’s kind of the way I look at this blog.
I’ve felt that writing is what God wants me to do with my life. But for so long have felt kind of adrift and couldn’t figure out what to do with that calling.
Then I found I could just start up my own blog and at least get some practice in on this whole dream thing.
At the same time though, it’s hard because when you think about your dreams, you never really realize that they may not pay the bills. I have yet to find a way to make this whole thing profitable in any way.
Not that money is the most important thing. It’s been a great way to get my thoughts and ideas out there and to have other people read them and to get some feedback.
It’s also hard, because I do feel like this is what God wants me to be doing with my life and yet I can’t seem to figure out what my next step should be.
For now, I guess I’ll just keep writing and praying that God will show me His plan for my life, or at least the next step.
He was talking about when the Israelites were about to cross the Jordan River to take the Promised Land.
God called them to take the first step on faith into the Jordan River. The river was a the flood stage and would have been a fast-moving river. But God calls them to step into it and then He will stop the river and they can cross it.
I think that’s kind of the way I look at this blog.
I’ve felt that writing is what God wants me to do with my life. But for so long have felt kind of adrift and couldn’t figure out what to do with that calling.
Then I found I could just start up my own blog and at least get some practice in on this whole dream thing.
At the same time though, it’s hard because when you think about your dreams, you never really realize that they may not pay the bills. I have yet to find a way to make this whole thing profitable in any way.
Not that money is the most important thing. It’s been a great way to get my thoughts and ideas out there and to have other people read them and to get some feedback.
It’s also hard, because I do feel like this is what God wants me to be doing with my life and yet I can’t seem to figure out what my next step should be.
For now, I guess I’ll just keep writing and praying that God will show me His plan for my life, or at least the next step.
Monday, March 23, 2015
Lent day 34
Just a word of warning at the beginning here. This might get a little long. I’m going to try to keep my thoughts on this concise. But it’s one of if not the most important thing to me, so I might ramble on a bit.
For the last few days something has been gnawing at my mind. Every time I’ve sat down to write I’ve had to push this topic down. I didn’t know what to say. I don’t fully know how to process the information and I can’t seem to figure out what I should write about it.
But this nagging feeling has been telling me that I needed to write about it anyway.
So here goes.
Last week I heard of a ten-year old boy in our town that committed suicide.
I don’t know much else about this boys story and have tried not to look too much into it, because when I’ve tried it’s brought me to tears.
I don’t know for sure if this child was depressed or what, but I do know that I was at that age.
It was around then that these thoughts of ending it all started to creep into my mind and I saw my way out of all of this pain.
At the time I couldn’t see how my being alive would make anyone life better. It sure wasn’t making my life better and I couldn’t see at the time that anyone else would really miss me.
I see now how wrong that is. I know that people loved me then and love me now.
I know that my family would have been devastated.
But knowing all of this now, doesn’t ease the pain the I felt as a child.
I can’t say for sure why I felt the way I did at that age.
Maybe it was something off in my wiring.
Maybe it was something that happened in my life.
More likely it was both.
Now as a parent I can’t even imagine what this family is going through.
I’m devastated at the thought of this child that I don’t know taking his own life, that I can’t even imagine what they are feeling.
My scripture reading for yesterday was Psalm 130.
Out of the depths I have cried to You, O Lord.
2 Lord, hear my voice!
Let Your ears be attentive
To the voice of my supplications.
3 If You, [a]Lord, should mark iniquities,
O Lord, who could stand?
4 But there is forgiveness with You,
That You may be feared.
5 I wait for the Lord, my soul does wait,
And [b]in His word do I hope.
6 My soul waits for the Lord
More than the watchmen for the morning;
Indeed, more than the watchmen for the morning.
7 O Israel, hope in the Lord;
For with the Lord there is lovingkindness,
And with Him is abundant redemption.
8 And He will redeem Israel
From all his iniquities.
I think this is a beautiful Psalm. I don’t know that I’ve ever read it before, but it really spoke to me.
I’ve cried to God out of the depths of my depression before.
I’ve begged Him to hear my cries and take away my pain.
I’ve felt the pain before.
I’ve also felt the waiting that is in this Psalm.
N.T. Wright pointed out that the writer doesn’t get an answer here.
His cries are not answered here in words.
But yet if you read the last lines you can tell that there is still hope in his heart.
He knows that God has listened to his pleas and loves him.
I really don’t have any answer today.
I just know that when you are sad or depressed it’s ok to cry out to God.
It’s ok to scream and yell at God.
His love is so big that He can take whatever you can dish out.
And know that there is hope.
No matter who you are and what you’ve done, there is someone out there that loves you.
For the last few days something has been gnawing at my mind. Every time I’ve sat down to write I’ve had to push this topic down. I didn’t know what to say. I don’t fully know how to process the information and I can’t seem to figure out what I should write about it.
But this nagging feeling has been telling me that I needed to write about it anyway.
So here goes.
Last week I heard of a ten-year old boy in our town that committed suicide.
I don’t know much else about this boys story and have tried not to look too much into it, because when I’ve tried it’s brought me to tears.
I don’t know for sure if this child was depressed or what, but I do know that I was at that age.
It was around then that these thoughts of ending it all started to creep into my mind and I saw my way out of all of this pain.
At the time I couldn’t see how my being alive would make anyone life better. It sure wasn’t making my life better and I couldn’t see at the time that anyone else would really miss me.
I see now how wrong that is. I know that people loved me then and love me now.
I know that my family would have been devastated.
But knowing all of this now, doesn’t ease the pain the I felt as a child.
I can’t say for sure why I felt the way I did at that age.
Maybe it was something off in my wiring.
Maybe it was something that happened in my life.
More likely it was both.
Now as a parent I can’t even imagine what this family is going through.
I’m devastated at the thought of this child that I don’t know taking his own life, that I can’t even imagine what they are feeling.
My scripture reading for yesterday was Psalm 130.
Out of the depths I have cried to You, O Lord.
2 Lord, hear my voice!
Let Your ears be attentive
To the voice of my supplications.
3 If You, [a]Lord, should mark iniquities,
O Lord, who could stand?
4 But there is forgiveness with You,
That You may be feared.
5 I wait for the Lord, my soul does wait,
And [b]in His word do I hope.
6 My soul waits for the Lord
More than the watchmen for the morning;
Indeed, more than the watchmen for the morning.
7 O Israel, hope in the Lord;
For with the Lord there is lovingkindness,
And with Him is abundant redemption.
8 And He will redeem Israel
From all his iniquities.
I think this is a beautiful Psalm. I don’t know that I’ve ever read it before, but it really spoke to me.
I’ve cried to God out of the depths of my depression before.
I’ve begged Him to hear my cries and take away my pain.
I’ve felt the pain before.
I’ve also felt the waiting that is in this Psalm.
N.T. Wright pointed out that the writer doesn’t get an answer here.
His cries are not answered here in words.
But yet if you read the last lines you can tell that there is still hope in his heart.
He knows that God has listened to his pleas and loves him.
I really don’t have any answer today.
I just know that when you are sad or depressed it’s ok to cry out to God.
It’s ok to scream and yell at God.
His love is so big that He can take whatever you can dish out.
And know that there is hope.
No matter who you are and what you’ve done, there is someone out there that loves you.
Sunday, March 22, 2015
Saturday, March 21, 2015
Lent day 32
Today I was reading in Matthew 23, and Jesus was talking about how the scribes and Pharisees preach one thing and do another, so that you should do what they preach, but not what they do.
It reminded me of conversations I’ve had with my kids. Chloe will be doing something and Max will tell her that she shouldn’t be doing it, even though we’ve also told him to stop doing it and he is currently breaking the same rule.
We’ve tried to tell him that he needs to practice what he preaches. But I think that is one of the hardest lessons for us to learn as fallen creatures.
It is so easy to write something on here about how we should be living our lives and praying and worshiping God.
It’s a very different thing to actually follow through and carry out the things that I’m saying myself.
In some ways I know that it is impossible to do most of the things that I say on here on my own.
In fact I am a hopeless case without the grace, mercy, and love that God showers down on me.
Without that I’m just a broken, worn out, and dirty man.
The only hope I have of ever following the commandments that God has given, is with His help.
I’m just glad that He is always there to help me and never runs out of patience.
It reminded me of conversations I’ve had with my kids. Chloe will be doing something and Max will tell her that she shouldn’t be doing it, even though we’ve also told him to stop doing it and he is currently breaking the same rule.
We’ve tried to tell him that he needs to practice what he preaches. But I think that is one of the hardest lessons for us to learn as fallen creatures.
It is so easy to write something on here about how we should be living our lives and praying and worshiping God.
It’s a very different thing to actually follow through and carry out the things that I’m saying myself.
In some ways I know that it is impossible to do most of the things that I say on here on my own.
In fact I am a hopeless case without the grace, mercy, and love that God showers down on me.
Without that I’m just a broken, worn out, and dirty man.
The only hope I have of ever following the commandments that God has given, is with His help.
I’m just glad that He is always there to help me and never runs out of patience.
Friday, March 20, 2015
Lent day 31
Today I was reading in C.S. Lewis’ Mere Christianity and he was talking about how when we become Christians, it’s not like we will automatically become a perfect human and all our bad habits will fall away. But more that you will be better than you would be without your faith and better than you were before your faith.
That is one of the things I’ve struggled with as I’ve grown up.
When I was a kid I thought that I wasn’t a good Christian because I would sin in some way. I was not able to live a perfect life, so therefore I must not be a true Christian.
But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to realize that none of us are perfect.
We all sin.
The point of living a Christian life is not that we are perfect all the time. But that we are trying to live out our faith and become better people.
For most of us it will not be an instantaneous change. It’s not that God couldn’t do that. He could change us completely in one moment, and in a way He does.
But real lasting change comes from struggle and working through things.
He does change us instantly though. Before we become Christians we probably could care less about being better people. But He gives us the will to change who we are. That is how we will change. He changes our desires and then helps us change over time.
That is one of the things I’ve struggled with as I’ve grown up.
When I was a kid I thought that I wasn’t a good Christian because I would sin in some way. I was not able to live a perfect life, so therefore I must not be a true Christian.
But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to realize that none of us are perfect.
We all sin.
The point of living a Christian life is not that we are perfect all the time. But that we are trying to live out our faith and become better people.
For most of us it will not be an instantaneous change. It’s not that God couldn’t do that. He could change us completely in one moment, and in a way He does.
But real lasting change comes from struggle and working through things.
He does change us instantly though. Before we become Christians we probably could care less about being better people. But He gives us the will to change who we are. That is how we will change. He changes our desires and then helps us change over time.
Thursday, March 19, 2015
Lent day 30
Today I reading in Matthew 21 about the land owner who rents out his vineyard to some people and then tries to collect his portion and they kill his son.
I think I’ve always thought this story was just about Israel as a nation rejecting Jesus. But today something else came to my mind.
N.T. Wright said that in scripture the vineyard is always used as a symbol for the people of Israel. Whether it was rotten or flourishing, it represented the people’s relationship with God.
This changed the way I looked at the story.
If the vineyard is Israel, then the people taking care of the vineyard would be the people who God has entrusted to watch over and tend to His people. That would be the priests and the other officials that God had placed in charge of His people.
The people of Israel didn’t reject Jesus until it was His time, and only then, I think, because they were influenced by those that were meant to lead them to God.
The people followed Jesus all over the country side and listened to every word He said. They believed that He was God’s Son.
It was the people who God had left in charge who were threatened by Jesus.
They were the ones that thought if Jesus came to power in the earthly way, they would lose all of their power.
They were in a comfortable spot. They had trust of the people and power given to them by both God and Rome.
If Jesus became king of Israel, they knew that He would not allow them to keep their positions.
They knew that Jesus would kick them out and expose them as the frauds they were.
So they had Him killed.
Luckily God had a different plan.
I think I’ve always thought this story was just about Israel as a nation rejecting Jesus. But today something else came to my mind.
N.T. Wright said that in scripture the vineyard is always used as a symbol for the people of Israel. Whether it was rotten or flourishing, it represented the people’s relationship with God.
This changed the way I looked at the story.
If the vineyard is Israel, then the people taking care of the vineyard would be the people who God has entrusted to watch over and tend to His people. That would be the priests and the other officials that God had placed in charge of His people.
The people of Israel didn’t reject Jesus until it was His time, and only then, I think, because they were influenced by those that were meant to lead them to God.
The people followed Jesus all over the country side and listened to every word He said. They believed that He was God’s Son.
It was the people who God had left in charge who were threatened by Jesus.
They were the ones that thought if Jesus came to power in the earthly way, they would lose all of their power.
They were in a comfortable spot. They had trust of the people and power given to them by both God and Rome.
If Jesus became king of Israel, they knew that He would not allow them to keep their positions.
They knew that Jesus would kick them out and expose them as the frauds they were.
So they had Him killed.
Luckily God had a different plan.
Wednesday, March 18, 2015
Lent day 29
Since I finished reading Timothy Keller’s Prayer, I’ve been reading C.S. Lewis’ Mere Christianity. One of those books I was supposed to have read in college and have hung onto ever since, but have still never made it through.
In some ways I’m kind of glad I didn’t read it in college. I don’t think I was ready for it then. I really don’t think I would have gotten much out of it. Which is probably why I stopped reading it to begin with. I know I have tried to read it several times since then too, and just haven’t been able to get through it.
But this time has been very different. I’ve found it to be a great book with a lot of good theology that is helping me.
Today, I read a line that really struck me.
“That is why horrible nations have horrible religions: they have been looking at God through a dirty lens.”
People look at the way some Christians act and say that they can’t be worshiping the same God as me because they have a horrible faith or act out their faith in horrible ways. In some ways this might be true. If they are truly missing the basics of faith, they may be worshiping a god more of their own making then the true God.
But I think, as Lewis said, they are more likely just looking at God through a dirty lens, and so therefore cannot truly see Him and the ways He would have them act.
In some ways I’m kind of glad I didn’t read it in college. I don’t think I was ready for it then. I really don’t think I would have gotten much out of it. Which is probably why I stopped reading it to begin with. I know I have tried to read it several times since then too, and just haven’t been able to get through it.
But this time has been very different. I’ve found it to be a great book with a lot of good theology that is helping me.
Today, I read a line that really struck me.
“That is why horrible nations have horrible religions: they have been looking at God through a dirty lens.”
People look at the way some Christians act and say that they can’t be worshiping the same God as me because they have a horrible faith or act out their faith in horrible ways. In some ways this might be true. If they are truly missing the basics of faith, they may be worshiping a god more of their own making then the true God.
But I think, as Lewis said, they are more likely just looking at God through a dirty lens, and so therefore cannot truly see Him and the ways He would have them act.
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
Lent day 28
I’ve really been amazed while reading through Matthew this time, just how many times it seems that the disciples have completely missed what Jesus has been trying to teach them.
In Matthew 20, Jesus teaches about how the first will be last and the last will be first. Then a few verses later it says that two of the disciples had their mom come to Jesus to ask that they be on His right and left when He comes into His Kingdom.
I think they missed the mark on several things here.
They’ve made the very human mistake of thinking that Jesus was there to throw the Romans out and to set up an earthly kingdom. In this kingdom, Jesus would obviously need a first and a second by His side. Why not these two men that have been following Him from the beginning?
But this is not the kingdom that Jesus has come to set up. Would the mother have asked the same question if she knew it would mean that her sons would have to die in order to “drink of the same cup” as Jesus? I don’t think so.
I think she was just thinking of her sons place in this world and how they could advance in the new earthly kingdom of Israel.
They’ve also made the mistake of thinking that the true way to get ahead is to become the most powerful person they can while they still have the chance.
We make this same mistake all the time. We try to acquire fame and fortune thinking it will get us all that we need.
But this isn’t the way that Jesus taught us to gain power or glory.
He taught us to gain power and glory by acknowledging that we are indeed truly powerless and by pointing all glory to the only truly powerful one, Himself.
l don’t know why I would expect any different from the disciples. But I’m truly surprised by how many times they seem to miss Jesus’ teachings.
They had Him there to teach them first hand, and yet they clearly didn’t understand everything He was telling them.
At the end of Matthew 20 there is another story that shows how little they understood what Jesus was there to do. As they are leaving Jericho two blind men call out for Jesus to have mercy on them. The disciples, who have watched Jesus heal numerous people, try to hush them up and push them to the side.
But Jesus calls to them and heals them when they ask for it.
If only His disciples, and all of us today also, would have the knowledge that we too are truly blind and need to be healed so that we can see the world the way Jesus does. Then we could ask and have our eyes opened too.
In Matthew 20, Jesus teaches about how the first will be last and the last will be first. Then a few verses later it says that two of the disciples had their mom come to Jesus to ask that they be on His right and left when He comes into His Kingdom.
I think they missed the mark on several things here.
They’ve made the very human mistake of thinking that Jesus was there to throw the Romans out and to set up an earthly kingdom. In this kingdom, Jesus would obviously need a first and a second by His side. Why not these two men that have been following Him from the beginning?
But this is not the kingdom that Jesus has come to set up. Would the mother have asked the same question if she knew it would mean that her sons would have to die in order to “drink of the same cup” as Jesus? I don’t think so.
I think she was just thinking of her sons place in this world and how they could advance in the new earthly kingdom of Israel.
They’ve also made the mistake of thinking that the true way to get ahead is to become the most powerful person they can while they still have the chance.
We make this same mistake all the time. We try to acquire fame and fortune thinking it will get us all that we need.
But this isn’t the way that Jesus taught us to gain power or glory.
He taught us to gain power and glory by acknowledging that we are indeed truly powerless and by pointing all glory to the only truly powerful one, Himself.
l don’t know why I would expect any different from the disciples. But I’m truly surprised by how many times they seem to miss Jesus’ teachings.
They had Him there to teach them first hand, and yet they clearly didn’t understand everything He was telling them.
At the end of Matthew 20 there is another story that shows how little they understood what Jesus was there to do. As they are leaving Jericho two blind men call out for Jesus to have mercy on them. The disciples, who have watched Jesus heal numerous people, try to hush them up and push them to the side.
But Jesus calls to them and heals them when they ask for it.
If only His disciples, and all of us today also, would have the knowledge that we too are truly blind and need to be healed so that we can see the world the way Jesus does. Then we could ask and have our eyes opened too.
Monday, March 16, 2015
Lent day 27
Today I was reading in Matthew 19 about the rich young ruler. N.T. Wright was talking about the way Jesus worded His answers to the man, and how He first gave the commandments that He knew the man was following. Then gave him the ones that He knew the man wasn’t following.
It wasn’t so much that the man was rich that made him a sinner.
But more that he had placed his money above God and made it an idol.
That is why he couldn’t enter the kingdom of Heaven.
He wasn’t willing to put his money in its proper place and use it to the things God would have him use it for.
He just wanted to keep it all for himself.
This seems to be a very human reaction, and I can see why the disciples looked at Jesus after this and asked, “If this man can’t get into Heaven, what chance do any of us have?”
The world looks at wealth as the ultimate proving ground for how good and worthy you are.
But God looks at the inside of a person and sees your motives and knows your innermost thoughts.
These are the things that will hold us back from entering into God’s Kingdom.
It wasn’t so much that the man was rich that made him a sinner.
But more that he had placed his money above God and made it an idol.
That is why he couldn’t enter the kingdom of Heaven.
He wasn’t willing to put his money in its proper place and use it to the things God would have him use it for.
He just wanted to keep it all for himself.
This seems to be a very human reaction, and I can see why the disciples looked at Jesus after this and asked, “If this man can’t get into Heaven, what chance do any of us have?”
The world looks at wealth as the ultimate proving ground for how good and worthy you are.
But God looks at the inside of a person and sees your motives and knows your innermost thoughts.
These are the things that will hold us back from entering into God’s Kingdom.
Sunday, March 15, 2015
Saturday, March 14, 2015
Lent day 25
“Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.”
We say that line all the time in the Lord’s Prayer.
But do we really stop to think about what it means when put together?
Today’s reading in Matthew 18, reminded me of something I read In Timothy Keller’s Prayer.
He said that the way those are put together in the Lord’s Prayer, means that they are connected.
God forgives us as we forgive others.
If we aren’t willing to start forgiving those that have hurt us, then God can’t really forgive all your sins.
When we hold onto the pain that someone has caused us and refuse to forgive them, we can’t truly ask for forgiveness for all of our sins.
True forgiveness can only come when we let go of the pain and wrongs that have been perpetrated against us.
In Matthew, Jesus tells the story of a man who begged his master to forgive his debt, and the master showed great mercy and forgave his debt.
But then the man went out and found a man who owed him a small fraction of what he had just been forgiven and threw him in debtors prison until he could pay.
When the master found out about this, he threw the first man into the same prison until his full debt was paid off.
Jesus is showing us, that how we judge and hold forgiveness from those around us, is the same way God will treat us.
This is a really hard concept. I have things that I’ve refused to forgive people for. More than likely, those same people who I’ve been holding my forgiveness from, do not even know that they have truly harmed me in any way. Yet I hold onto these things and let them fester inside of me.
This is not good. I need to learn to let go of the anger that I hold inside of me.
I need to forgive those who have trespassed against me. So, that I can release myself to be forgiven by God.
We say that line all the time in the Lord’s Prayer.
But do we really stop to think about what it means when put together?
Today’s reading in Matthew 18, reminded me of something I read In Timothy Keller’s Prayer.
He said that the way those are put together in the Lord’s Prayer, means that they are connected.
God forgives us as we forgive others.
If we aren’t willing to start forgiving those that have hurt us, then God can’t really forgive all your sins.
When we hold onto the pain that someone has caused us and refuse to forgive them, we can’t truly ask for forgiveness for all of our sins.
True forgiveness can only come when we let go of the pain and wrongs that have been perpetrated against us.
In Matthew, Jesus tells the story of a man who begged his master to forgive his debt, and the master showed great mercy and forgave his debt.
But then the man went out and found a man who owed him a small fraction of what he had just been forgiven and threw him in debtors prison until he could pay.
When the master found out about this, he threw the first man into the same prison until his full debt was paid off.
Jesus is showing us, that how we judge and hold forgiveness from those around us, is the same way God will treat us.
This is a really hard concept. I have things that I’ve refused to forgive people for. More than likely, those same people who I’ve been holding my forgiveness from, do not even know that they have truly harmed me in any way. Yet I hold onto these things and let them fester inside of me.
This is not good. I need to learn to let go of the anger that I hold inside of me.
I need to forgive those who have trespassed against me. So, that I can release myself to be forgiven by God.
Friday, March 13, 2015
Lent day 24
It’s strange. This is the 24th day I’ve written something on here in a row here. I’ve been kind of dreading the day where, for whatever reason, nothing really came to me while reading.
It hadn’t come yet.
But it’s here now.
The good news is that I’m ok with it.
Do I wish I had something better to write this morning? Of course.
But I don’t.
My mind and body are tired, and maybe that has something to do with it.
All I know is that I have nothing else to write this morning, and that I’m ok with that.
It hadn’t come yet.
But it’s here now.
The good news is that I’m ok with it.
Do I wish I had something better to write this morning? Of course.
But I don’t.
My mind and body are tired, and maybe that has something to do with it.
All I know is that I have nothing else to write this morning, and that I’m ok with that.
Thursday, March 12, 2015
Lent day 23
It amazes me that as I read the Gospels, you can see the disciple’s confusion at almost every turn.
You can tell that they believe that Jesus is the Messiah.
But yet He doesn’t do the things that they think He will.
He keeps leading them into places and situations that they don’t think are where the Messiah would be going.
Then He starts talking about His death.
Think about how strange that must have been.
You’ve been following this man and now He says He’s going to die.
You thought He was going to raise up armies and defeat the evil Roman army.
He was going to rebuild Israel into this great nation.
But now, He’s saying that He has to die in order for God’s plans to be fulfilled.
I can see why so many would have turned their backs on Him.
He said He was the Messiah, but yet didn’t act like the Messiah they were waiting for.
It can be hard to follow God on paths when they are leading places you didn’t think He would lead you on.
May God give us the courage to stay the course and the faith to trust in His plans.
You can tell that they believe that Jesus is the Messiah.
But yet He doesn’t do the things that they think He will.
He keeps leading them into places and situations that they don’t think are where the Messiah would be going.
Then He starts talking about His death.
Think about how strange that must have been.
You’ve been following this man and now He says He’s going to die.
You thought He was going to raise up armies and defeat the evil Roman army.
He was going to rebuild Israel into this great nation.
But now, He’s saying that He has to die in order for God’s plans to be fulfilled.
I can see why so many would have turned their backs on Him.
He said He was the Messiah, but yet didn’t act like the Messiah they were waiting for.
It can be hard to follow God on paths when they are leading places you didn’t think He would lead you on.
May God give us the courage to stay the course and the faith to trust in His plans.
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
Lent day 22
A couple of days ago I finished reading through Timothy Keller’s Prayer. I have to say that it was a great book. It has broadened my understanding of prayer and the different ways which we can go about praying.
I feel that It has really changed my views on prayer.
One of the biggest things that I think I got out of it, is that my prayers don’t need to be perfect.
That God knows my heart and He knows what I need.
Just like my kids hopefully know that I would give them what they need, so too should I have faith that God will give me that things that I need.
The most important thing, is to keep coming before Him in prayer, and developing and deepening my relationship with Him, to the point that I might long for the things He longs for.
I believe that this is the true reason for prayer. That we might align our hearts to His will.
At times in my life, I’ve really struggled with prayer. One of my biggest problems with prayer has been that if God already knows what’s in my heart, why do I need to take the time to ask Him?
It would seem like a waste of time to set time apart to pray about the things that are weighing on my heart, if God already knows what they are.
Plus, does He really need me to ask Him before He can work in my life or those around me?
But I think I’ve now come to understand that we pray to bring our minds around to the will of God and to deepen this relationship.
We bring the things that concern us to Him and ask for His help in them, not just so that He can now grant our wishes, but so that the things that weigh on our hearts will not weigh on them quite so heavily. That we may lay these things down at His feet and not get sucked down by the worries of life.
I know that my views on prayer will probably keep changing and growing as I get older and as I try to deepen my prayer life in general.
Just thought I’d share where I am on it right now with you.
I feel that It has really changed my views on prayer.
One of the biggest things that I think I got out of it, is that my prayers don’t need to be perfect.
That God knows my heart and He knows what I need.
Just like my kids hopefully know that I would give them what they need, so too should I have faith that God will give me that things that I need.
The most important thing, is to keep coming before Him in prayer, and developing and deepening my relationship with Him, to the point that I might long for the things He longs for.
I believe that this is the true reason for prayer. That we might align our hearts to His will.
At times in my life, I’ve really struggled with prayer. One of my biggest problems with prayer has been that if God already knows what’s in my heart, why do I need to take the time to ask Him?
It would seem like a waste of time to set time apart to pray about the things that are weighing on my heart, if God already knows what they are.
Plus, does He really need me to ask Him before He can work in my life or those around me?
But I think I’ve now come to understand that we pray to bring our minds around to the will of God and to deepen this relationship.
We bring the things that concern us to Him and ask for His help in them, not just so that He can now grant our wishes, but so that the things that weigh on our hearts will not weigh on them quite so heavily. That we may lay these things down at His feet and not get sucked down by the worries of life.
I know that my views on prayer will probably keep changing and growing as I get older and as I try to deepen my prayer life in general.
Just thought I’d share where I am on it right now with you.
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
Lent day 21
Today in my devotions, N.T. Wright was talking about traditions and how they affect us.
He was partially talking about how they can be harmful to us and our faith if they more or less become our faith. Then we are just going through the motions, because this is what we are supposed to do.
But I’ve found in my own life that there is so much beauty in tradition.
The thought that the prayers I’m praying or the hymns I’m singing or the faith I’m practicing, has been handed down to me by the faithful that have gone before me, makes it so much deeper to me.
I do agree that if we rely too much on the traditions they can take over and then we are not really thinking about things the way we should be.
But if you take the time and examine the traditions of your faith you will probably find something beautiful that you didn’t expect to see.
He was partially talking about how they can be harmful to us and our faith if they more or less become our faith. Then we are just going through the motions, because this is what we are supposed to do.
But I’ve found in my own life that there is so much beauty in tradition.
The thought that the prayers I’m praying or the hymns I’m singing or the faith I’m practicing, has been handed down to me by the faithful that have gone before me, makes it so much deeper to me.
I do agree that if we rely too much on the traditions they can take over and then we are not really thinking about things the way we should be.
But if you take the time and examine the traditions of your faith you will probably find something beautiful that you didn’t expect to see.
Monday, March 9, 2015
Lent day 20
Today I was reading in Matthew 14, and N.T. Wright was talking about the story of Jesus walking on the water.
When Peter asks to join Jesus on the water, I wonder if he really thought Jesus would tell him to come to Him.
I think about that in my own life. How many times have I prayed or thought something, but not really been sure if I was capable of actually going through with the action?
But the beautiful thing here, is that Jesus does call Peter out onto the water, and Peter obeys.
He keeps his focus on Jesus and starts to walk on the water towards his Savior.
Then the reality of the situation comes crashing in. The world around him is complete chaos, and he realizes what is happening. He starts to sink.
If we take our eyes off of Jesus, we start to get dragged down by the things around us.
The world reaches out and pulls us down.
But there is hope.
Just like Peter, we can cry out, “Lord, save me,” and Jesus will reach down His hand and pull us up out of the depths of our despair.
When Peter asks to join Jesus on the water, I wonder if he really thought Jesus would tell him to come to Him.
I think about that in my own life. How many times have I prayed or thought something, but not really been sure if I was capable of actually going through with the action?
But the beautiful thing here, is that Jesus does call Peter out onto the water, and Peter obeys.
He keeps his focus on Jesus and starts to walk on the water towards his Savior.
Then the reality of the situation comes crashing in. The world around him is complete chaos, and he realizes what is happening. He starts to sink.
If we take our eyes off of Jesus, we start to get dragged down by the things around us.
The world reaches out and pulls us down.
But there is hope.
Just like Peter, we can cry out, “Lord, save me,” and Jesus will reach down His hand and pull us up out of the depths of our despair.
Sunday, March 8, 2015
Lent day 19
Today I mainly want to share a song with you. It is one of the best songs I’ve heard in a long time.
It’s “Come As You Are” by Crowder.
The message of the song is so beautiful.
That we can come to God as we are. Not that we have to perfect our lives before we come before Him.
We can lay our burdens down at His feet and fall into His arms.
It’s a song that I’ve been listening to a lot lately, because it’s something I’ve really needed to hear.
May it speak to you also.
It’s “Come As You Are” by Crowder.
The message of the song is so beautiful.
That we can come to God as we are. Not that we have to perfect our lives before we come before Him.
We can lay our burdens down at His feet and fall into His arms.
It’s a song that I’ve been listening to a lot lately, because it’s something I’ve really needed to hear.
May it speak to you also.
Saturday, March 7, 2015
Lent day 18
As I was reading Matthew 13 today, I found it interesting that even Jesus’ disciples didn’t always understand everything He said.
I think I like to think of them as these geniuses who knew everything about the Torah and God’s will because they were in the presence of Jesus.
But even they had to pull Him to the side sometimes and be like, “what did you mean when you said this? Why are you always talking in parables?”
It’s refreshing to know that we don’t have to understand everything to believe.
We can believe and still struggle with what some things mean.
It is ok to ask God what He means when He says things. It is ok to ask God why things happen the way they do.
God is big enough to take our questions.
We may not always get the straight easy answer that we want, but hopefully we will get some deeper understanding of how much God loves us.
I think I like to think of them as these geniuses who knew everything about the Torah and God’s will because they were in the presence of Jesus.
But even they had to pull Him to the side sometimes and be like, “what did you mean when you said this? Why are you always talking in parables?”
It’s refreshing to know that we don’t have to understand everything to believe.
We can believe and still struggle with what some things mean.
It is ok to ask God what He means when He says things. It is ok to ask God why things happen the way they do.
God is big enough to take our questions.
We may not always get the straight easy answer that we want, but hopefully we will get some deeper understanding of how much God loves us.
Friday, March 6, 2015
Lent day 17
Today the N.T. Wright devotional that I’ve been doing, was looking at Matthew 12. One of the main things he talked about, was the passage where the Pharisees heard what He was doing and said that He must be doing these things by the power of Beelzebul not God.
Jesus responds to them by saying no house can stand if it’s fighting against itself, and that you could say anything you wanted against Him and be forgiven, but to speak blasphemy against the spirit would not be forgiven.
Wright says that it’s not so much that the blasphemy is such a bad sin that it can’t be forgiven. But more that if you are speaking against the spirit, then your heart is not going to be able to accept anything coming from the spirit.
So, when God does come to these people, they have already closed off their hearts to the point that they don’t even see that it is God in front of them. They have completely walled themselves in and cannot be reached by God’s grace and mercy.
That is something I’ve felt in my own life. At times when I’ve turned my back to God, it’s not that He’s gone anywhere.
He’s right there waiting for me to come back to Him.
But it’s that I have hardened my own heart to His words of love and grace.
It’s something that I fight with everyday. To open myself up to hearing His voice and feeling His love.
Jesus responds to them by saying no house can stand if it’s fighting against itself, and that you could say anything you wanted against Him and be forgiven, but to speak blasphemy against the spirit would not be forgiven.
Wright says that it’s not so much that the blasphemy is such a bad sin that it can’t be forgiven. But more that if you are speaking against the spirit, then your heart is not going to be able to accept anything coming from the spirit.
So, when God does come to these people, they have already closed off their hearts to the point that they don’t even see that it is God in front of them. They have completely walled themselves in and cannot be reached by God’s grace and mercy.
That is something I’ve felt in my own life. At times when I’ve turned my back to God, it’s not that He’s gone anywhere.
He’s right there waiting for me to come back to Him.
But it’s that I have hardened my own heart to His words of love and grace.
It’s something that I fight with everyday. To open myself up to hearing His voice and feeling His love.
Thursday, March 5, 2015
Lent day 16
I had a realization yesterday as I was taking my anti-depressant pill.
This pill that I need to take every day is truly a lot like prayer and Bible study.
It may not seem obvious to anyone who doesn’t have to take a pill like this, but they really do the dame thing in some ways.
If I don’t take my pill for a while, and I have found that I do this often, my brain gets messed up. My thinking gets scrambled and things start to change. My behaviors change. My thought patterns change. The things I should be doing, just don’t seem to matter anymore. I have a hard time feeling the love of my family and those around me.
But when I do remember to take my pill, I find that my brain works better. I can see things clearly. Maybe most importantly, I can feel the love of my family and friends.
I think I’ve talked before, about when I was off of my meds for several years. At first I thought I was doing pretty good. Things seemed pretty normal. But then, it was like part of me was watching from outside myself and I could tell that I wasn’t living the way I should be living. Then when I got back onto my medication, it was like I was waking up from a long dream. I was in a place that I didn’t fully understand or know. But I knew that I was awake now and surrounded by people who cared for me.
I’ve found that over the last 16 days, as I’ve focused some of the first hours of my day to Bible study and prayer, that it has some of the same affects.
When I’ve spent long periods of time not praying, it feels like God is distant from me and may not even care about me.
At those times it seems that God wouldn’t even care if I prayed. So why bother?
My brain starts to think of things in a very bad way, and I start to give into the habits that I know are harmful to me and those around me.
But as I’ve made this a habit in my life, I’ve found that my mind is working in a much better way. I think I’ve been able to show my love to those around me in a much better way. I’ve noticed that, most of the time, I’m more patient.
I’m not saying that I’m perfect. Only that the love and time I’ve been spending with God is starting to spread into the other parts of my life.
I can only pray that God would continue to draw near to me and teach me how to live my life in the way He would have me live it.
This pill that I need to take every day is truly a lot like prayer and Bible study.
It may not seem obvious to anyone who doesn’t have to take a pill like this, but they really do the dame thing in some ways.
If I don’t take my pill for a while, and I have found that I do this often, my brain gets messed up. My thinking gets scrambled and things start to change. My behaviors change. My thought patterns change. The things I should be doing, just don’t seem to matter anymore. I have a hard time feeling the love of my family and those around me.
But when I do remember to take my pill, I find that my brain works better. I can see things clearly. Maybe most importantly, I can feel the love of my family and friends.
I think I’ve talked before, about when I was off of my meds for several years. At first I thought I was doing pretty good. Things seemed pretty normal. But then, it was like part of me was watching from outside myself and I could tell that I wasn’t living the way I should be living. Then when I got back onto my medication, it was like I was waking up from a long dream. I was in a place that I didn’t fully understand or know. But I knew that I was awake now and surrounded by people who cared for me.
I’ve found that over the last 16 days, as I’ve focused some of the first hours of my day to Bible study and prayer, that it has some of the same affects.
When I’ve spent long periods of time not praying, it feels like God is distant from me and may not even care about me.
At those times it seems that God wouldn’t even care if I prayed. So why bother?
My brain starts to think of things in a very bad way, and I start to give into the habits that I know are harmful to me and those around me.
But as I’ve made this a habit in my life, I’ve found that my mind is working in a much better way. I think I’ve been able to show my love to those around me in a much better way. I’ve noticed that, most of the time, I’m more patient.
I’m not saying that I’m perfect. Only that the love and time I’ve been spending with God is starting to spread into the other parts of my life.
I can only pray that God would continue to draw near to me and teach me how to live my life in the way He would have me live it.
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
Lent day 15
Today I was reading in Matthew 11, and I was struck by the last few verses in the chapter.
28 “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
I think so many times, we as humans, try to make Christianity about all of these rules and does and don’ts.
But the beautiful thing, is that Jesus called us to Him promising an easy burden.
This does not mean that our lives will be easy or that nothing bad will happen to us. In fact our lives will never truly be easy until we are in heaven, and Jesus tells us that bad things will happen to us.
Instead, I believe, that He is telling us that coming to Him and putting on His “yoke” is easy, because of His grace and mercy.
Becoming a Christian should be hard. It should involve pain and sacrifice.
But because of God grace and mercy, all we have to do is ask and we are forgiven.
Jesus has already paid the heavy price for our salvation.
All we have to do is accept it.
28 “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
I think so many times, we as humans, try to make Christianity about all of these rules and does and don’ts.
But the beautiful thing, is that Jesus called us to Him promising an easy burden.
This does not mean that our lives will be easy or that nothing bad will happen to us. In fact our lives will never truly be easy until we are in heaven, and Jesus tells us that bad things will happen to us.
Instead, I believe, that He is telling us that coming to Him and putting on His “yoke” is easy, because of His grace and mercy.
Becoming a Christian should be hard. It should involve pain and sacrifice.
But because of God grace and mercy, all we have to do is ask and we are forgiven.
Jesus has already paid the heavy price for our salvation.
All we have to do is accept it.
Tuesday, March 3, 2015
Lent day 14
In Timothy Keller’s book Prayer, he talks about how we should start off our prayers with praising and thanking God for who He is and what He has done in our lives.
This has sometimes been a hard thing for me. For one thing, at times, it’s been a hard thing for me to see the good in my life. I have struggled to see anything for thanking Him for at times and have really only used prayer as an answering service for my petitions to God.
Keller points out that the prayer that Jesus taught us to pray, starts off with praising God and calling Him holy. It is only then that we begin to rightly ask for the things in our lives.
I don’t believe that if you aren’t praying “correctly” that God won’t hear your prayer and that He won’t be able to answer your prayer.
I believe that God can and does answer our prayers even if we are just crying out to Him for help.
Keller says that it has more to do with the orientation of our heart and our life. If we come to God with praise and thanksgiving first, we will see how great He is and all of the things that He has already done in our lives.
Then as we begin to place our burdens at His feet, we will see and understand that He is able to help us with these things and that we need not worry so much about them.
Also, Keller says that through rightly ordering our loves and desires with God first is the only true way to best love the other things in our lives.
I can only love my wife and kids best, if I have placed God first in my life and have shown Him the love and respect that He is worthy of.
Then out of the overflow of my love for Him, my family will be blessed with my love.
This has sometimes been a hard thing for me. For one thing, at times, it’s been a hard thing for me to see the good in my life. I have struggled to see anything for thanking Him for at times and have really only used prayer as an answering service for my petitions to God.
Keller points out that the prayer that Jesus taught us to pray, starts off with praising God and calling Him holy. It is only then that we begin to rightly ask for the things in our lives.
I don’t believe that if you aren’t praying “correctly” that God won’t hear your prayer and that He won’t be able to answer your prayer.
I believe that God can and does answer our prayers even if we are just crying out to Him for help.
Keller says that it has more to do with the orientation of our heart and our life. If we come to God with praise and thanksgiving first, we will see how great He is and all of the things that He has already done in our lives.
Then as we begin to place our burdens at His feet, we will see and understand that He is able to help us with these things and that we need not worry so much about them.
Also, Keller says that through rightly ordering our loves and desires with God first is the only true way to best love the other things in our lives.
I can only love my wife and kids best, if I have placed God first in my life and have shown Him the love and respect that He is worthy of.
Then out of the overflow of my love for Him, my family will be blessed with my love.
Monday, March 2, 2015
Lent day 13
I was reading in Matthew 10 today about Jesus sending out His disciples to reach the people of Israel.
N.T. Wright pointed out that one of the things Jesus tells them on their way out to start this journey to spread the good news, is that not everyone will want to hear what they have to say.
If not everyone will want to hear the truth from the disciples of the Son of God, then how can we expect any different results?
Not everyone is going to understand our faith.
Not everyone is going to agree with us on everything.
Some people will reject the good news that we share with them.
Some people will persecute you for your faith.
This is ok.
It is not our jobs to save everybody.
It is our job to spread the seeds as widely as we can and to let God do the work of growing the seeds.
But still, some will reject us.
That is hard news for us.
We long to be loved and accepted by everyone around us.
We do everything we can to please people and get them to agree with us.
But that was never our job.
God has sent us into the world to spread his Gospel to those who would hear.
N.T. Wright pointed out that one of the things Jesus tells them on their way out to start this journey to spread the good news, is that not everyone will want to hear what they have to say.
If not everyone will want to hear the truth from the disciples of the Son of God, then how can we expect any different results?
Not everyone is going to understand our faith.
Not everyone is going to agree with us on everything.
Some people will reject the good news that we share with them.
Some people will persecute you for your faith.
This is ok.
It is not our jobs to save everybody.
It is our job to spread the seeds as widely as we can and to let God do the work of growing the seeds.
But still, some will reject us.
That is hard news for us.
We long to be loved and accepted by everyone around us.
We do everything we can to please people and get them to agree with us.
But that was never our job.
God has sent us into the world to spread his Gospel to those who would hear.
Sunday, March 1, 2015
Lent day 12
I came across this principle in Timothy Keller’s Prayer, that we are rich in God but without prayer and that connection with God, we are living as though we are poor.
He uses the example of someone giving you some money, and you go on living your life thinking that they just gave you a little bit, and then one day you open it up to find that they have given you a fortune. Before you checked the check, you went on living your life with your debts and financial hardships. But the whole time you were holding onto a fortune that could have changed your life.
It’s the same with prayer. If we pray and allow God to work in our hearts, then the immeasurable power and riches we inherited through Jesus’ death and resurrection can and will change our lives.
God will help us to buff out the rough places in our lives.
He can help us to change the bad habits that we have formed in our lives.
But we have to do the work of prayer and coming before Him before He can truly change our hearts.
He is always willing and able. The only real question, is if we are.
He uses the example of someone giving you some money, and you go on living your life thinking that they just gave you a little bit, and then one day you open it up to find that they have given you a fortune. Before you checked the check, you went on living your life with your debts and financial hardships. But the whole time you were holding onto a fortune that could have changed your life.
It’s the same with prayer. If we pray and allow God to work in our hearts, then the immeasurable power and riches we inherited through Jesus’ death and resurrection can and will change our lives.
God will help us to buff out the rough places in our lives.
He can help us to change the bad habits that we have formed in our lives.
But we have to do the work of prayer and coming before Him before He can truly change our hearts.
He is always willing and able. The only real question, is if we are.
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