Wednesday, April 30, 2014

A light into my darkest hour

Right after high school, I went off to South Dakota State University in Brookings, SD, for one of the worst and best few months of my life.

While I was there I tried to distance myself from God in any way I could, even to thinking of myself as an atheist.

But as a kid who’d grown up in the church, I made the nearly hour drive most Sunday mornings to be in the nearest Nazarene Church.

While I was going through some of the darkest and lowest times in my life, Pastor Keith Bundy and his family, shined a light so that I could see.

I don’t know if they had any idea what they did for me in those few months, but they literally saved my life.

Keith’s sermons showed me God in church, and he and his family showed me God outside of church by inviting me into their home.

I can never truly thank them enough for the gift that they gave me in those few months, but I don’t know if I’d be here without them having been in my life.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

The boss

I mentioned last week that I had the best job in the world, well today I want to tell you about the bosses at this job.

They can be the bossiest, loudest, most obnoxious bosses I’ve ever had the privilege to work under.

But they also give the best hugs and make life just a better experience all around.

I can’t imagine that there is a better boss in the world then the ones that boss me around on a daily basis, plus when, they get too cranky, I can always put them in a time out.

Monday, April 28, 2014

Teach your children well

I remember growing up, I always loved writing, but I always looked to other things as my main source of income.

Then in my freshman year of college at MNU I had Professor Ream for Freshman English.

She really inspired me and showed me that I might be good at this whole writing thing and maybe it could work as a career.

She took an interest in me, and I don’t think it was just because I was her sons roommate, and she showed me the potential that I had.

Friday, April 25, 2014

You may say that I'm a dreamer

I always thought of myself as the black sheep of my family, not so much because I’m a bad kid, more that I didn’t always feel like I fit in.

But as I’ve grown up, I think it’s just that I’m a dreamer, so my mind is always elsewhere.

I’ve somewhat always had my head in the clouds, and it’s only lately that I’ve realized that maybe that’s not such a bad thing.

Without me dreaming of what might happen, I’m not sure that I would have ended up where I am, with a beautiful wife and the greatest job of them all, being a dad to two beautiful kids.

Thursday, April 24, 2014

My Brother

Growing up with a brother wasn’t always the most fun thing in the world, but I do remember it being great to always have a friend no matter where we moved.

Someone to play games with on long car rides, even when that game was annoy mom and dad or stay off my side of the car.

But it’s been great to see how similar we are as we’ve grown and to see our wives get along so well.

I don’t take the time to say this enough, but I love you Shawn, and you were the best big brother I could have asked for.

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Mother

What else is there to say about my mother, other than I love her.

I remember all those late nights where I couldn’t sleep and you would rub my back and listen to all of my ridiculous teenage drama.

You never made me feel like I was a blithering idiot as I went on about crazy things that I look back on and cringe.

You took care of me when I was sick, lifted me when I was down, and on a day like today when I’m down and sick, that sounds like the gift of life.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

In My Father's Eyes

It wasn’t until I became a father that I truly understood the joy and pain that being a father can bring, and I can honestly say that I look back at my own father in a whole different light now.

I see now that he loved me the best he could and did the best job of raising me that he knew how to do.

He always pointed the way back to God and showed me what it meant to be a devoted husband and father.

I only pray that I can do as good of a job with my own kids.

Monday, April 21, 2014

On Grandpa's Knee

I remember few things more clearly and fondly from my childhood than sitting on my grandpas knee.

The feeling of being loved by these Godly men has brought me comfort throughout my life.

I remember the feeling of hugs from my grandpas, with their prickly five-a-clock shadow scratching my face.

There is nothing more joyous than knowing you are loved.

Friday, April 18, 2014

I got you babe

These past two days(Wednesday and Thursday) Jennifer has been working 13 hours days for parent teacher conferences, which means I’ve been taking care of the kids pretty much from when they get up until they are in bed.

I’m sorry to all the parents who have to do this whole parenting thing on their own.

It’s made me realize that I could never do this alone, I’m so glad to have a beautiful and amazing partner in this whole parenting thing.

She makes this whole thing possible.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

I fell in love with a girl

Thirteen years ago, I fell in love with a girl who I truly didn’t see coming.

She saw through all of my masks that I put on to keep the world out and took a chance on me.

She changed my life completely and I’ll never truly be able to thank her for seeing something in me that even I didn’t.

She is the light of my life and the reason I saw a future for myself in the first place.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Count Your Many Blessings

Of all the things that are in my life, I find myself so blessed by all of the people around me.

I have a family that loves and supports me.

A church family, that blesses me each week with their love and the opportunity to play my music somewhere

And above all else, a God that has looked out for me throughout so many different stages in my life.

No matter what else I say, I am truly a blessed and lucky man.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

What Am I Even Doing Here?

So, I’ve been trying this blogging thing on and off for most of the past five years. I keep telling myself that I’ll take it more seriously this time. That I’ll make sure to take the time to write more often. That I’ll write at least a little something each day, even if I don’t post everything. But I’ve never been able to keep it up for very long. Then after a little while, I’ll realize that I haven’t written anything in a long time and that I probably should do that.

I don’t really know why I feel such a strong desire to write. I guess in some ways, I always have. I can remember writing things as a teen. I’m sure none of them were really any good. But I can remember having this strong desire to be writing something.

No matter what else I thought I would do in my life for work, I always wanted to be writing something for fun. That was almost always a major part of my plans for the future. Whether I was going to be an architect, or an NBA player (yeah, I know, like a 6 foot white guy would ever have a chance), or whatever other thing I was dreaming about at the time. Writing was always there.

A lot of the writing was focused on songwriting. But even when I wanted to be a full-time musician, I always wanted to write fiction or books of some kind.

Then I went to college and tried to become a civil engineer. Luckily I got weeded out by the freshmen weeding out class. Sad thing is that was one of only two classes I passed that first semester.

What was I doing that took all my time and attention away from school?

You may have guessed it already.

Soon after starting classes I realized I was not cut out to be an engineer. And lucky for me I had just gotten a guitar for my 18th birthday. So, much to my roommates frustration I’m sure, I spent almost every waking hour hunched over my guitar playing and writing music.

Then I dropped out and took a semester off, before going on to MidAmerica and studying music. I figured if I was going to be spending all my time on it anyway, I might as well get something out of it.

Then I felt a desire to write more creatively. So, I looked into getting an English degree. But, sadly, MidAmerica didn’t really have anything like that. So, I ended up do more a journalism type writing thing. Which I quickly learned was not what I was looking for.

It was around then that I kind of had a mental break. I think now part of it had to do with the fact that I was in school to get these degrees, and I couldn’t figure out how they were going to help me do the only thing I really wanted and felt I should be doing. Writing and singing.

Of course, now that I’m 33 and pretty much unemployable because I don’t have a degree, I really wish I had just stuck it out and gotten a degree in something.

Five years ago, when Max was born, and we decided that I would stay home and take care of him, I figured that I would have all this time to write and try to record some music. But, as most people who takes care of  kids can tell you, there never seems to be enough time in the day for things that need to get done. Let alone the dreams you want to get done.

So, for the most part, I’ve let this whole blogging and music thing really go. I never really meant to. But I have.

Now I’m really feeling the need to bring a little money into the family, and really wishing that I had taken the time to really develop this whole music and writing thing as some kind of career.

Recently I’ve been getting back into playing music through being able to play in my church. It’s been great. But it’s been awaking this thing inside of me that believes that this is what I should be doing for a living. Unfortunately, no one is really paying random people to give their random opinion on random topics at random intervals. So, I have no idea how to make this whole thing work. But I think I’m going to give this another try.

If you happen to know of anyone who wants to pay me for doing the things that I’ve always wanted to do, let me know. I’d be happy to take some money from a rich investor that wants to give me some to do this.