My Dog Buddha

(Buddha back in 2006 with some blonde, around the time he realized even though he wanted to be a lap dog, most laps aren’t big enough for him.)

Today is our family dogs tenth birthday.

Before we got Buddha, I always thought of myself as a cat person, and only really ever thought I’d want a cat as a pet.

I still think cats can be great, and some of the cats I knew growing up were just as loving as some dogs.

But now I’d have to say that I’m a dog person.

I remember when Jennifer and I were thinking about getting a pet, we went to the pet store and were looking at some of the dogs and I kept trying to get her to look at the cats.

If I remember correctly we played with him one day and then said we’d think about it, I really wasn’t sold on the whole having a dog thing.

We came back the next day to look again, and it seemed like he recognized us and got really excited.

Then I started to walk away to look at the cats and he barked at me.

That’s the moment I was sold on him.

He chose me, and even after we brought him home, he was pretty much inseparable from me for the longest time.

I can’t say that I’ve always liked having a dog, but I can tell you that the love he has shared with me has brightened my life these past 10 years.

Adjusting

So, as I’ve written before, I’ve started a new job, and things have been picking up with that.

I’ve done most of my training and things are going good.

But if you read this often, you have probably noticed a lack of posts as of late.

I’m trying to find the time and energy to write.

But most days right now my brain is just too tired.

Hopefully soon, my body will get into a little better rhythm and I can get back to writing more often.

Until than, I hope you understand, and I will be posting as often as I can.

My Own Faith

So, yesterday I talked about your worldview growing as you explore further out and it brought to my mind my journey in faith.

When I was born, I was born into a Christian family and have known God my whole life.

But as I look back now, as a child I had inherited my parents faith and belief system.

Not that this is bad or that their faith is wrong, just that it wasn’t entirely my own as a child.

Then I went off to college and lost my faith for a little while, or maybe it would better be said that I tried to deny my faith.

Then as I found myself at the ends of my rope, I looked around and I found God right there with me.

This changed everything for me.

Once I had met God for myself, I made my faith my own.

I have discovered that a lot of my faith is still the same as my parents, but that it is no longer theirs but mine.

It has become a personal relationship as opposed to a relationship through my parents.

I believe that this is the journey in so much of life.

You can be taught whatever you want to be taught.

But until you believe it for yourself, it won’t be true in your life.

World View

I’ve been thinking a lot about new beginnings and new starts and it keeps bringing to my mind they way I feel when I move to a new place.

I’ve noticed that when you move somewhere new your worldview is just the surrounding areas.

Like when I moved to Olathe, KS for college, all I really knew was the college.

Then as I started to explore more my world grew and grew.

I now knew where the Walmart was, and the Borders, and some other places.

Then I met Jennifer, who grew up in Olathe and her knowledge of the area expanded mine rather quickly.

She could take me places that I didn’t know where there, and it was like writing new places on my map.

I’ve realized this is the way life is in general.

You are born with your family and only know them and as you grow your world expands to include others around you.

Not sure what all this means.

Just some thoughts I had tonight.

A New Chapter

I find myself nearing the end of this chapter of my life.

I realize that not everything will change, I’m still a husband and father and the general state of life will be the same.

But at the same time so much is about to change this summer.

I start my new job on Thursday, Jennifer has a new position, Chloe is starting in day care, and Max starts kindergarten in the fall.

It seems that so much is up in the air right now.

Transitions have never been my favorite thing.

But I’m hopeful that things are working out for the best, and that God is at work in all of these changes.

I’m praying that as we close this chapter of our lives, we will greet the next chapter with the joy that comes from God’s love, grace, and mercy.

To My Father

Thank you for showing me how to be a man, a husband, a father, and above all else a follower of Christ.

I remember waking up early in the mornings and seeing you sit in your chair reading your Bible and doing devotions.

I remember the words spoken from the pulpit that you may have thought I slept through.

I remember the playful times wrestling around and playing.

I remember laying on top of you with my head on your chest and hearing your heartbeat.

I remember the love and support that you’ve always shown Mom, Shawn, and me.

As I’ve become a father my view on everything has changed so much.

I hear your voice coming out of my mouth and I see you in the mirror.

Holding my kids brings back the memories of all the times you were there for me.

Thank you for being my dad.

Thank you for love me.

Thank you for loving our family.

Thank you for setting a Godly example of how to live.

Thank you.

I love you Dad.

Saturday Share: You Have Me

I’ve written before about Gungor.

But this song has been really speaking to me lately.

Thought I’d share it with you.

Hope you enjoy.

The Borders Years

(First off, sorry that I didn’t post last night. We had a power outage for a few hours yesterday and by the time it came back on, I was tired and trying to go to sleep.)

Between 2001 and 2009 I worked at Borders, other than a little while where I tried and failed at being a used car salesman.

I find when I think of good memories of working, most of them took place during this time, I loved working at Borders.

But I think my bank account still suffered, but this time because I was surrounded by new worlds of words and sound that I felt the need to explore.

I find that the biggest thing I really took away from my time at Borders was my love of reading.

As I was growing up I hated reading and always thought of myself as a bad reader, so I just tried as hard as I could to avoid it.

Shortly after starting I heard everyone obsessing over the Harry Potter series and so on a whim I decided to take a chance and crack a spine.

So, basically what I’m saying is that I owe my love of reading to a boy wizard and the beautiful people who I worked with that opened my eyes to transportation system known as books.

My First Job

Preparing for my new job has gotten me thinking about some of the jobs I’ve had in the past, and also brought up a crazy thought.

I’ve really only worked at two different places in my life and it shows this strange symmetry when you look at it.

I got my first job when I was 16 at the Wal-Mart in Pierre, SD and I was completely unprepared for the influx of money that came my way.

All of a sudden I had money and could buy whatever I wanted to buy, and believe me, I did.

I would pretty much spend every dime that I earned by the time the next paycheck came along.

This has been a very hard habit to break and something that I’m truly still working on.

Hopefully I’ll learn to save some money with this next job.

It gets pretty tiring to live from paycheck to paycheck, especially with four mouths to feed.

My Better Half

I wanted to take this chance to thank my wonderful wife for all that she has done these last years to support our family.

I know that it hasn’t always been easy to take on the responsibility of support us and that it has made things a little more stressful on you then you needed.

But you have been amazing these last few years.

Not only have you taken on the responsibility of bringing in the money but you’ve never made me feel like I wasn’t helping support the family too.

You truly are an amazing wife and mother on top of being an amazing teacher and friend.

Once again, thank you for all that you’ve done and all that you are doing to help me adjust to these changes in our lives.

New Post

So, I thought I’d take today to update my readers on somethings that are changing.

I got the call earlier today confirming that I now have a new job and will be starting orientation for the Wal-Mart going up just down the street from us.

It’s been a long process of trying to find the right job for me this last little while, and I really think this will work our well for me.

I’ll be working overnight, which if you know me, is my preferred time to work anyway, plus it will give me a steady schedule that will allow me to take the kids to school or preschool before going to sleep.

This schedule has always seemed to work out best for my sleep schedule, seeing as I always seem to sleep better in the day than at night anyway.

At the same time, I’ve very nervous about starting a new job, and will have to adjust my role at home and with the kids.

All I’ve known for my kids whole lives is being home with them, and I’m a little nervous about what this change will bring with it.

Please keep us in your prayers during this transition time, I think it’s going to be tough on all four of us.

A New Song

A while ago we played the song Beautiful Things by the band Gungor in church.

I’d heard of them, but as far as I can remember, I’d never actually listened to them.

This song blew me away as I learned to play it for church.

Since then I’ve listened to a lot more of their music and can say that their music has definitely been ministering to me.

The truths that they sing have spoken to my heart in ways that most worship music hasn’t for a while.

I find myself singing some of their songs, especially Beautiful Things, as prayers now.

Living on enough

A while ago I found this musician named Shaun Groves, and I felt so connected to his lyrics and singing style.

Then I didn’t hear anything about him for a while.

Turns out he kinda left the Christian Music Complex behind and was focusing most of his time and energy into fund-raising for Compassion International and blogging.

Since finding his blog I’ve been so impressed by the way his longs to live on enough.

He talks about how in the Lord’s Prayer, we are instructed to prayer for our daily bread, not bread for the week, but just enough to fulfill our needs.

In a world that calls for us to hoard riches and things, it’s a good reminder to not strive for what others have, but to be satisfied with the gifts God has graciously given us.

Influences

There is a musician/writer that I follow online named Carlos Whittaker.

He has really influenced the way that I write my blogs and what I write about.

He has given me the courage to be very truthful in my struggles with depression and anxiety as a whole.

From him I’ve learned that sometimes it’s not the length of the post but the content in it that matters.

For a long time I felt that I needed to do huge articles and that I needed to spend hours pouring myself into posts.

While I still feel that I pour myself into my posts and that long posts still have there time and place, I’ve also learned that sometimes a truth stated simply is more effective than a thousand word essay on the topic.