It’s been a while since I’ve written anything. Not really sure why. I just know that I haven’t taken the time to do it. I’ve had many ideas. But have been a little low on the motivation.
But anyway…
Today, Chloe was watching Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood, and they were having a dress up day. This brought an idea to me that I knew I needed to get down.
As they were talking about what they wanted to dress up as, I realized that is what I feel I do everyday.
I dress up as a responsible adult.
I dress up as a good parent.
I dress up as someone who has it together.
I dress up as a good Christian.
I dress up as a functioning member of society.
I’m not saying that I’m not some of those things sometimes. But I try to put on this costume and make people think that I am all of these things all the time. When the reality of it is that most of the time I’m just a broken person trying to hold it all together.
I don’t have the answers to any of life’s questions. Yet I try to give my kids the impression that I do.
I’m not a good Christian all the time. But yet I try to show those around me that I am. And that I never have any doubts. That I have always known exactly what to believe and what to do with my life.
I’ve tried to tell people that I’m a writer or a musician. But until recently, I hadn’t touched my guitar in months. And as you can probably guess from the lack of posts on here, I haven’t written anything in a long time too.
I’ve heard people say that you should fake it till you make it. Or that you should dress for the job you want not the job you have. But none of that really makes sense anymore.
I want to stop putting on a costume and become the person I should be. Dress up is great when you’re a kid and you can be anything you want in your mind. But maybe there comes a time when we should take off the masks and show people the broken pieces of our lives.
I think if we did that, we would find that everyone around us is wearing a mask as well.
