Sharing Saturday

So I thought I’d take this chance to share a blog that I’ve read lately that I thought my readers would enjoy.

It’s written by a girl I went to college with and is a great take on Frozen.

I have to say that I love that movie too, and as somebody that suffers from depression and social anxiety her post really hit home with me.

I haven’t been able to watch Frozen the same way since reading it.

Click here to go to her sight and read it.

Rhythms

I seem to have gotten out of my normal rhythms lately.

I had a pretty steady schedule for the last few months with the things that I been doing in the day, but sometime this week, it seems that something has been off.

Maybe it’s my sleep cycle being off, or just something else is off, I don’t really know.

But it just seems that something has been off.

Which might explain how I didn’t write anything yesterday, and how today it was really hard to even think of something to write.

Maybe next week I can get back in my rhythms and get back to feeling normal again.

Ripping off the band aid

So Max fell down at school yesterday and has a couple pretty good scrapes to show for it, as well as the accompanying band-aids.

Tonight as we were putting him down for bed, we were trying to get him to take off the band-aids so that the wounds could breath and heal, but he was fighting us with everything he had.

No matter what we said, he would not consider taking them off (Even with the bribe of ice cream afterwards).

It got me thinking about how in our own lives we don’t want things to change or be different because it might hurt or be hard.

No matter how much we know these things might need to happen for our own good we fight with all our might.

In the end sometimes it’s best just to rip off the band-aid and move on with life, especially if ice cream is involved.

Using Talents

For a long time now, I’ve resisted the urge to be a part of the worship team at the churches we’ve gone to.

I’d like to say that the size of the churches or stage fright were the only things keeping me from following through on this calling.

But I think in reflecting over the weekend about Friday’s post, I came to realize that I also really didn’t want to give up one of the most meaningful times of worship that I have.

I’ve always found so much beauty in music, and when it came to singing in church, I found it to usually be the way that God would speak to me the most.

I was afraid that if I was one of the people leading the worship, that I would not be getting the full experience of worship that I was looking for.

But what I have found, is that by using the gifts and talents that God has entrusted to me, I’m actually more engaged in the worship and have found it to be more worshipful than I could ever have imagined.

Finding a Church Home, Part 3

As I said in part 1, one of the reasons that I didn’t feel comfortable in some of other churches was because I wanted to be a part of the worship team, but being very shy and not liking to be in front of people, having big churches just never seemed like a place I wanted to play.

It’s true that Eden is smaller than most of the other churches we’ve been going to lately, but I think there is more to why I’ve felt comfortable joining the worship team so quickly.

For one, I was kind of volunteered to be a part of it, or more I was mentioned to the worship leader a little before I was planning on talking to him, but the more I’ve thought about it though, I kind of think this was the perfect way for me to be introduced to it all.

There was never any pressure to do it, nor has there been any pressure to be some amazing guitar player or singer.

It’s just been a very natural journey to doing a little more each time and has never felt too overwhelming.

It’s just made it feel even more like a home for us, that we can and want to be a part of this beautiful growing community.

Finding A Church Home, Part 2

I’ve often found that when I’ve been in a large church I just feel like I get completely lost in the crowd.

A few of the churches that we’ve tried lately, barely anyone even knew our name and if we weren’t there, it seemed like no one would even notice.

As much as I’d like to say that I like being a part of the crowd and not being noticed, it did bother me.

Plus by the tenth time you’re meeting the pastor and he still acts like it’s the first time, it’s a little off putting.

That’s not to say that the churches we went to weren’t good, or that we didn’t have friends at them.

But it’s been really nice to walk into church and know that people remember me and are glad to see me.

Finding A Church Home, Part 1

I know yesterdays post was a little short and didn’t really go into any detail about why we feel so at home in our new church, so I thought I’d take the next few days and talk about it at a little greater length.

Since moving to Oregon, there have been several times where I can honestly say we, or especially I, didn’t go to church on a regular basis.

There are many reasons, but the main one was that I never really felt like the churches we went to were places I really wanted to go.

This is not to say that these were bad churches, or that we didn’t have churches that we liked during this time, but more that I never felt like these were places God really wanted us to be.

One of the main reasons for me, was that we were in some bigger churches and it just always seemed so easy to get lost, plus I’ve felt God calling me to be a part of the worship team, but the thought of getting up in front of that many people freaks me out.

I’ll try to break these two main reasons down more over the next couple days, right now I need to think about them a little more.

Church Home

This past Sunday I was thinking about my families journey to find a church family that we feel we really fit into.

Both of us grew up in the church and specifically the Nazarene church, but had failed to really find a place out here that we really felt was right for us.

I don’t really know why we hadn’t tried out Eden Community before, seeing as we knew several of the people who go to it.

I think it was really about the half hour trip each way that we would have to make.

But I’m so glad that we decided to try it out a few months ago, because I have never been in a church where I felt so at home.

It was like from the moment we walked in the doors, we were family and belonged there.

Another Page

Sitting here looking at this blank page has always been one of the hardest things I’ve done.

The cursor sits there mocking me like the voices in my head.

Telling me I can’t or shouldn’t be doing this, that I have no right to give my opinion on anything.

So I just start hitting the keys and let the words flow until the voices and cursor are quiet.

Not all of it makes sense, not all of the words stay on the page.

But I press on and then another post is done.

The Lord's Prayer

As I’ve been thinking about prayer this week, I’ve been reminded that usually when I need to pray about things I return to the Lord’s Prayer.

At times I’ve tried long-winded prayers where I lay everything out, and at times this has been good, such as when I’m baring my sins and my shortcomings.

It’s not so much that God needs to hear them from my lips, but more that I need to say them out loud so I know what I have done and the things I need to work on in my life.

I’ve also used music and hymns as my prayers before, but found that it’s hard to always remember words wherever I am and haven’t always been able to get to music to listen to it.

But I always seem to come back to the Lord’s Prayer, because I’ve found it to be the most complete expression of everything I need to say in a prayer.

It starts off with praise and thanksgiving and then forgiveness, while only asking for what we need according to his plan and will, which has always seemed like the proper approach to prayer to me.

Clarification On Prayer

As I said a few days ago, I don’t believe a lot of Christians have the correct view on prayer and how it works.

This is definitely not to say that I think it doesn’t work or that we shouldn’t do it often and about both the little and the big things in our lives.

In fact, I believe that we should live our whole lives in prayer, praying in all things that we do, that God would lead our steps and our words.

I only have a problem when we ask for things to be prayed for in a very general sense that we think if we get enough people praying for us it will all work out the way we want it to.

I believe that we should always prayer for God’s will to be done in all things, whether that lines up with my will or not.

Hopefully as we live our lives in prayer and conversation with God, our will will bend towards his will and not our own.

The Little Engine That Could

I was reading The Little Engine That Could to Max as a bedtime story and I realized something during the reading, it is basically a non-violent version of the Good Samaritan story.

The ones that should and could help feel that is beneath them, while the one that isn’t sure if he’ll even be able to do anything, helps out.

I think mostly when I’ve read the story, I’ve focused on the fact that he didn’t know if he could do it or not, but he still tried anyway.

But tonight it hit me really hard that the trains saying no to helping the broken down train, were more than capable of helping, but just didn’t want to.

I guess maybe I’m just thinking of hospitality and helping others in a different way this week.

May I be as willing to help those around me even when I’m not sure I can.

Prayer

I’ve always wondered if prayer really works the way we think it does.

We always ask for prayer when things are happening in our lives that we are worried about or are just need some help with.

But for me it’s always felt a little weird to say, hey please pray for me on this thing I have coming up.

It’s not that I think prayer doesn’t work, just that I don’t know if it works the way we want it to or think it does.

I think we look at it as a vending machine that will just spit out whatever we ask for, I just don’t think it works that way.

(Needless to say, I could really use your prayers for tomorrow afternoon. I have a job interview.)

Hospitality

At church yesterday we talked about hospitality and what that should me as Christians and as a church.

This brought up some hard things for me, because I’m not always the most hospitable or welcoming person.

I’ll generally be nice and I would like to think I would give things to people if they were to ask, but I struggle with the whole giving of my time and attention or my space.

I’m a fairly private person, and the thought of my friends or other people invading my space always scares me.

It was a very challenging sermon and one that I’ll think I’ll be struggling with for the rest of my life.

Hopefully through prayer and patience God can help me to be a more hospitable person.

A question

For those of you that read this blog, I have a few quick question for you.
I would greatly appreciate any answers you can give me.
What do you like about my writings?
What kind of writing do you want to see from me?
What could I do better?
Thank you for any answers you can give me.

Mentors

Yesterday I thanked the teachers in my life and that got me thinking about how there have also been a lot of people in my life that have been teachers or mentors to me in ways that had nothing to do with classrooms.

These are people who come along beside you and take an interest in you and your life, even when they don’t have to.

They put themselves into your life and find ways to help you learn how to live a good and wholesome life.

Once again there are too many to name here, but I just wanted to tell them all thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Your words and time have changed my life and so many others around you. Thank you.

Hey teachers

I thought since this week is teacher appreciation week, I’d take a blog post to thank all those wonderful teachers in my life.

There have been way too many to name them all, plus most of my family are teachers, so I won’t go into detail here.

In a job that can be entirely thankless at times and horribly hectic at others, these teachers take time to care about their students and love to see them grow and learn new things.

So, to all those teachers out there that work long nights and can’t turn their brains off of the classroom work during the off times, thank you for all you do.

My Princess

Two years ago, a princess came home to live with us.

She has this amazing ability to be both a girly girl and a tomboy at the same time, with a bow in her hair and bruises all over her legs.

Her smile melts my heart and I have been wrapped around her finger since the day she was born.

Her hugs bring light to my hardest and darkest days.

My beautiful princess, I pray that you will always keep your sense of adventure and joy throughout your whole life.

My Maxman

Just wanted to take a minute and tell you about this little guy.

He might just be the best thing to happen to me, or at least one of the best.

He is my playmate, friend, fellow mischief-maker, snuggle-bug, little man, etc.

He made me a dad and it’s been the best five years of my life.

I love you Maxman, thank you for all the joy you’ve brought to my life.

The Avett Brothers

Yesterday I talked about my best friend being music, so I thought today I would share with you the group that has been with me through the most these last few years: The Avett Brothers.

I have yet to hear a song by them that didn’t evoke some deep emotion for me, be it happy, sad, funny or anything in between or all of the above in one song.

I would listen to them on my long bus rides to work and it would make the trips seem at least survivable.

There is something beautiful in their harmonies and the lyrics are some of the most beautiful I’ve heard in my life.

You've got a friend in me

This may sound a little strange, but music is my best friend, and truly always has been.

It has been there through heartaches, headaches, pains, joys, and everything else I’ve been through.

I turn to it when I need advice, or when I need to feel better.

No matter how I’m feeling, I know I can find a song that well help my mood.