Monday, December 10, 2012

Keep Your Eye On The Donut

The other night as I was putting Max to bed, I read him a devotional book that we got him a while back. It’s a VeggieTales book for boys. We don’t read it near enough. Part of the problem is that it’s a little over his head. He doesn’t get everything that is said in it. But anyway, I read him a devotional, and it kind of hit home for me.

The title was “Keep Your Eye Upon The Donut.” It had a poem in it that they had seen in a donut shop somewhere. It goes like this.

As you travel through life brother, Whatever be your goal, Keep your eye upon the donut, And not upon the hole.

They went on to talk about how we should be thankful for the things we have in our lives and not just focus on the things we don’t have. I find myself doing this all the time. It seems like it’s the American way to look at the things that you don’t have and covet them. I have a iPhone 4S. Does that mean I don’t want to have an iPhone 5? No. Which is crazy. I have so much in my life. But I’m always looking at all the things I don’t have.

So, I’m going to try to take more time to be thankful and to show my thanks to those around me. I’m not very good at telling people thanks. In fact, I’m horrible at it. I always mean to. But never remember until it’s way too late.

Today, I would like to thank my family for all of the things they have done for me. I could never repay the love that you have given me. I know I’m not always the easiest to love. Especially because it can be a thankless job sometimes. But you have stayed by my side no matter what I have done to try to push you away. Thank you for loving me and keeping me from hurting myself too much.

So, what’s your donut today? What is the thing that  you have been relying on, while spending your time looking at what you don’t have?

Friday, December 7, 2012

Max and I have accidently been conducting an experiment this week. It has not gone well.

As most of you that know me will know, I am not a morning person. I may have said before that being a stay at home dad, has forced me to change some of my sleep habits. But even when I’m up, I’m not really awake until around noon. So, needless to say, mornings can be kind of crazy.

Anyway. Last week I heard someone talking about how their kids were horrible brats when they watched TV in the mornings, and the behavior continued the rest of the day. This behavior sounded all to familiar to me and was how we’ve been spending an every growing amount of time lately. So, last Sunday Max and I got up in the morning and started playing. There were a few times that he asked about the TV, but when I said no, he would just keep on playing and forget about it. After a few hours of playing I turned on the football games, but continued to play with him and interact more with him. He was by no means perfect. But, at least to me, it seemed like a different kid in many ways.

Monday Jennifer had to stay home because I’d been up pretty much all night and needed to rest. So, things were a little different that day. But we pretty much did the same thing. More interaction and less TV. Even some more time to play Starfall educational games on the computer.

I continued this on Tuesday, with pretty much the same results. He was a much calmer kid and listened to me. It was great.

But then I hit a wall Tuesday night. I can’t even remember exactly what happened, but I didn’t get enough sleep, or at least restful sleep. So, I was exhausted Wednesday morning. I had no energy to play with Max at all. It was all I could do just to stay awake. So, I went back to the old ways. I turned on the TV and tuned out. And so did Max. He changed almost instantly. He kept asking me to play with him, but like the selfish person I can be when I’m tired, I would tell him no, or later, which means no to him. It was hard to watch. But I had no energy to do anything about it. I just told myself that tomorrow would be better. I’d get some good sleep and everything would be better.

As you can probably guess, I haven’t slept well the rest of the week and it’s all fallen apart. The only evidence there is of the beginning of the week, is that Max now asks me to play more than normal. I know that not all of his actions can be placed on the TV or less interaction. I know that there are going to be days where neither one of us are going to be up for much. But I know that I don’t have patience when I’m tired. And so, I’m sure I don’t treat him the best. It’s hard to see, because I know he is a good kid. But he’s learning my bad habits. My moodiness. My selfishness. I see all of these things reflected back to me in my son.

I know that I need to find a way to get normal sleep. He really wants to play with me now. Who knows how long he’ll keep wanting to, if I keep saying no.