I’ve been realizing lately that I’m not setting the greatest example for my kids. I’m not proud of the way that I’ve let some things slip in my life. I’m not proud of the way I’m not an example of how to live you life. Whether you look at how I my health is horrible. I’m extremely out of shape. I’ve never really done anything with my life and I find myself getting lower everyday.
But all of this really pales in comparison to how I’ve let my spiritual life fall by the wayside. There are reasons for some of this. But more than likely they are just excuses that I make to make myself feel better about letting my family down.
I have very vivid memories of seeing my dad spending time daily reading his bible and spending time with God. Sure he was a pastor and this was part of his job. But it was always more than that. You could tell that it was what he drew from for how to live his life.
I find myself now, not being very good about reading my bible or making it a priority to spend time in prayer. I can’t even bring myself to make it to church most weeks. I make excuses that I need to sleep or I’m not feeling well. But for the most part it’s just not a priority in my life. I want it to be. But it’s just not.
This really wasn’t that big of a deal for me before having kids. But now I know that Max and Chloe are watching my every move. They are learning how to live their lives from what they see me do. And I know that I’m not the best example most of the time.
I don’t have any answers here. I’m not going to make a promise that I’ll spend time each day reading my bible or make sure to be in church each week. We all know how good I am at keeping the promises I make on this blog. But I am going to try to be a better example to my kids. I’m going to try to make more time to spend with God and make sure that my kids see me making this a priority.
They are going to learn from they way I live my life. I just hope that they learn some good things from me along the way.
Monday, October 15, 2012
Friday, October 5, 2012
Being a dad is confusing
Being a dad is hard. I know most people, especially dads, know this. But it really is hard. I live my kids more than anything in this world. And would give up anything to be with them. But it’s not always easy.
I know that I am blessed with two beautiful healthy children. They are both amazing. But that really doesn’t always help. Maybe my case is different because I stay home with them, but there are days where I just don’t think I’m going to be able to do it anymore.
Lately I feel like an explosion is building up inside of me, and I’m scared if how it might come out. I find that there are days where all I want to do it put them in their rooms and walk out the front door.
But then there are some amazing times too. The last few days Max and I have been having a hard time. I’m not sure what’s been going on, but he seems to be trying everything he can to get on my nerves.
Then tonight one of our friends to him for a little bit, for which they deserve an award. When they came back I met them at the top of the stairs to our apartment. Max came around the corner and saw me and yelled, “daddy.” And ran up the rest of the stairs. I have to say that made me feel really good.
Than we spent some of the rest of the evening watching Lion King and hanging out. It’s pretty amazing to sit with your son on your lap and have him tell you he loves you. There really is nothing like it in this world.
Maybe I should have started off this blog, being a dad is confusing. That sums it up a little better. It’s great. But it’s also horrible.
I call Max the most demanding boss I’ve ever had and its the truth. No other boss I’ve ever had would wake up me up in the middle of the night or have me cuddle up with them after they’ve had a bad dream. And if they did I think I’d have to quit. That would have been weird.
I know that I am blessed with two beautiful healthy children. They are both amazing. But that really doesn’t always help. Maybe my case is different because I stay home with them, but there are days where I just don’t think I’m going to be able to do it anymore.
Lately I feel like an explosion is building up inside of me, and I’m scared if how it might come out. I find that there are days where all I want to do it put them in their rooms and walk out the front door.
But then there are some amazing times too. The last few days Max and I have been having a hard time. I’m not sure what’s been going on, but he seems to be trying everything he can to get on my nerves.
Then tonight one of our friends to him for a little bit, for which they deserve an award. When they came back I met them at the top of the stairs to our apartment. Max came around the corner and saw me and yelled, “daddy.” And ran up the rest of the stairs. I have to say that made me feel really good.
Than we spent some of the rest of the evening watching Lion King and hanging out. It’s pretty amazing to sit with your son on your lap and have him tell you he loves you. There really is nothing like it in this world.
Maybe I should have started off this blog, being a dad is confusing. That sums it up a little better. It’s great. But it’s also horrible.
I call Max the most demanding boss I’ve ever had and its the truth. No other boss I’ve ever had would wake up me up in the middle of the night or have me cuddle up with them after they’ve had a bad dream. And if they did I think I’d have to quit. That would have been weird.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Day 2/31 - Likes/Dislikes
So, here I am on day two of this project. Today’s prompt was to look at your blog as if you weren’t the one writing it and find things that you dislike and also like.
I came up with a list of my own. But I was thinking maybe those who read this might be a little better at pointing these things out. That way I can look to change things or keep doing them.
So, if you could, take a few minutes to look around my blog and tell me a few things you don’t like and a few you do.
I know this wasn’t the greatest blog. But, I’m trying to make this place better for both of us.
I came up with a list of my own. But I was thinking maybe those who read this might be a little better at pointing these things out. That way I can look to change things or keep doing them.
So, if you could, take a few minutes to look around my blog and tell me a few things you don’t like and a few you do.
I know this wasn’t the greatest blog. But, I’m trying to make this place better for both of us.
Monday, October 1, 2012
Day 1/31
So today was day one for me of going through 31 Days To Finding Your Blogging Mojo by Bryan Allain. The question that he put to the reader was to think about what your blog would look like when it is running full steam. I took this as a way of looking at my goals for this blog. I haven’t really been all that certain about what I was wanting to do with it. But I really think this exercise made me think about what I wanted to do here. I’ve stated some of it here before but here is my response to the question.
“That’s a hard question for me. I’d like to have a fair amount of readers and maybe a little income coming from it. I’d like to be able to post regularly and come up with things that people really want to read. I’d like to get my voice out there. See if there is anyone else with my problems and see if we can help each other fix them. I’d like for my writing to reach people. To connect with people and affect positive change in their lives. That if a bumbling idiot like me can do something, then they are more than capable of doing it too. I’d like to get my music out there and share the gifts that I believe God has given me. I’d like others to hear me and have a conversation with me. I’d like to find some way of making this my life. To write for a living and bring some money into the family with it.”
I think it’s interesting that I mentioned twice that I want to make money doing this. I’ve thought about it some, but I guess it really is the point of it. Right now I’m not making anything. But that’s because I haven’t looked into ways of putting ads on here or things like that. But I think that comes back to feeling bad about putting so much pressure on Jennifer to make all the money for the family. I know that I won’t make much doing this. But in some ways it would be nice to bring a little into the family. Make me feel a little less like a stay-at-home loser and more like a contributing member of society.
That’s all for today. I’ll try to post again in the next few days. Thank you for taking this trip with me. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.
“That’s a hard question for me. I’d like to have a fair amount of readers and maybe a little income coming from it. I’d like to be able to post regularly and come up with things that people really want to read. I’d like to get my voice out there. See if there is anyone else with my problems and see if we can help each other fix them. I’d like for my writing to reach people. To connect with people and affect positive change in their lives. That if a bumbling idiot like me can do something, then they are more than capable of doing it too. I’d like to get my music out there and share the gifts that I believe God has given me. I’d like others to hear me and have a conversation with me. I’d like to find some way of making this my life. To write for a living and bring some money into the family with it.”
I think it’s interesting that I mentioned twice that I want to make money doing this. I’ve thought about it some, but I guess it really is the point of it. Right now I’m not making anything. But that’s because I haven’t looked into ways of putting ads on here or things like that. But I think that comes back to feeling bad about putting so much pressure on Jennifer to make all the money for the family. I know that I won’t make much doing this. But in some ways it would be nice to bring a little into the family. Make me feel a little less like a stay-at-home loser and more like a contributing member of society.
That’s all for today. I’ll try to post again in the next few days. Thank you for taking this trip with me. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.
New Month
Well, as you can probably tell from my lack of posts lately, things haven’t been going exactly like I said they would. Which I guess is what they call life. Seems to be that every time I try to change things around, things get changed around in a completely different direction.
Over the last most or so, our family has been sick one after another. It seemed like we were just getting over the first bout of sickness when the second hit us. The kids are still sick and I’m still not doing great. But I think at least I’m on my way back to the land of the living. Part of the problem is, that I try to make sure Jennifer can get enough sleep to make it through her days at work ok. So, there are some nights, like last night, where I’m up for most of it trying to take care of the kids. I figure I can hang around here with the kids in a little bit more of a zombie state better than she could in a room full of middle-schoolers. But that hasn’t helped me get over my cold either.
But that isn’t why I came here to talk today.
I started a new book 31 Days To Finding Your Blogging Mojo by Bryan Allain. Like the title would suggest, it’s a book about getting back into blogging or getting your blog really working. So, I thought I’d take the month of October to work my way through it. I’m not sure how this will work. I’ll try to be posting the things that it tells me to write for that days exercise. Not sure if I’ll be posting every day with this, or just when I have a feeling that this is worth something. But hopefully this will mean I’ll be changing a few things around here. This one is getting a little wordy, so I think I’ll actually end this here and then start a new one with the exercise from today. I hope you all like this. I’m going to be trying my best to figure out what this blog is in the next month. If you can bear with me, I’ll try to make it interesting and keep you entertained.
Over the last most or so, our family has been sick one after another. It seemed like we were just getting over the first bout of sickness when the second hit us. The kids are still sick and I’m still not doing great. But I think at least I’m on my way back to the land of the living. Part of the problem is, that I try to make sure Jennifer can get enough sleep to make it through her days at work ok. So, there are some nights, like last night, where I’m up for most of it trying to take care of the kids. I figure I can hang around here with the kids in a little bit more of a zombie state better than she could in a room full of middle-schoolers. But that hasn’t helped me get over my cold either.
But that isn’t why I came here to talk today.
I started a new book 31 Days To Finding Your Blogging Mojo by Bryan Allain. Like the title would suggest, it’s a book about getting back into blogging or getting your blog really working. So, I thought I’d take the month of October to work my way through it. I’m not sure how this will work. I’ll try to be posting the things that it tells me to write for that days exercise. Not sure if I’ll be posting every day with this, or just when I have a feeling that this is worth something. But hopefully this will mean I’ll be changing a few things around here. This one is getting a little wordy, so I think I’ll actually end this here and then start a new one with the exercise from today. I hope you all like this. I’m going to be trying my best to figure out what this blog is in the next month. If you can bear with me, I’ll try to make it interesting and keep you entertained.
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