Being a dad is confusing

Being a dad is hard. I know most people, especially dads, know this. But it really is hard. I live my kids more than anything in this world. And would give up anything to be with them. But it’s not always easy.

I know that I am blessed with two beautiful healthy children. They are both amazing. But that really doesn’t always help. Maybe my case is different because I stay home with them, but there are days where I just don’t think I’m going to be able to do it anymore.

Lately I feel like an explosion is building up inside of me, and I’m scared if how it might come out. I find that there are days where all I want to do it put them in their rooms and walk out the front door.

But then there are some amazing times too. The last few days Max and I have been having a hard time. I’m not sure what’s been going on, but he seems to be trying everything he can to get on my nerves.

Then tonight one of our friends to him for a little bit, for which they deserve an award. When they came back I met them at the top of the stairs to our apartment. Max came around the corner and saw me and yelled, “daddy.” And ran up the rest of the stairs. I have to say that made me feel really good.

Than we spent some of the rest of the evening watching Lion King and hanging out. It’s pretty amazing to sit with your son on your lap and have him tell you he loves you. There really is nothing like it in this world.

Maybe I should have started off this blog, being a dad is confusing. That sums it up a little better. It’s great. But it’s also horrible.

I call Max the most demanding boss I’ve ever had and its the truth. No other boss I’ve ever had would wake up me up in the middle of the night or have me cuddle up with them after they’ve had a bad dream. And if they did I think I’d have to quit. That would have been weird.