Dream Job

I’ve always felt a little weird telling people about what I’ve wanted to do with my life. I think I’ve always had some pretty big dreams. When I was growing up I wanted to play in the NBA or some other sport depending on the time of year. I also wanted to be a musician. I’ve always loved music and have even enjoyed writing it for times.

So, I never would have imagined myself as an extremely overweight guy in his 30’s that never touches his guitar. But that’s where I find myself. I haven’t played my guitar in so long, that when I do pick it up, it feels weird and I struggle to remember how to play. And to even attempt to run causes my heart rate to rise. If you looked at me now, you probably wouldn’t think that I used to play basketball for a few hours a day sometimes. Let alone that I would often skip lunch in high school to play longer.

I feel like somewhere along the way I gave up on myself. I stopped caring what happened to me. I also stopped dreaming. Now I don’t see myself on a stage singing to people. The thought alone scares me. I’ve always had a little bit of stage fright. But it paralyzes me now. I’ve often felt like I should try joining my churches worship group. But I never can bring myself to talk to them, because it scares me so much to think about being up there in front of all those people.

That’s actually part of what inspired me to start this blog. I needed a place to store my thoughts and to get some feedback from other people. I’m not saying that anything I say is going to be earth shattering. But I want to start doing things again. I used to dream of so many things. Now I just dream about making it through another day.

For father’s day this year I had Jennifer buy me a copy of a book called “Quitter” by Jon Acuff. I haven’t really started to read it. But it’s about starting on the path to your dream job. Writing would be my dream job. Playing music would be my dream job. Writing music would be my dream job.

So, here’s to starting a new path on towards our dreams.