Tonight, my wife, mom and I, were talking about memories of being a kid. Everything I remembered about my child were these big reckless abandon moments. I was a carefree kid who would run head first into almost any situation with a smile on my face. The problem was, that I was also somewhat accident prone. So these memories also centered around injuries that I had sustained. Like the time I slide my bike under a parked dump truck on my knee. Fun times. My mom even said there were many times that she wasn’t sure I’d make it through childhood alive. Let alone with no broken bones at all. But I did.
This brings up several thoughts for me. First off, I’m scared for Max. He’s already showing a reckless side. Plus he’s inherited a double dose of the accident prone part. This will make his childhood very interesting and eventful, I’m sure.
But, it also brings up feelings of the things I’ve lost. Somewhere along the way I lost that reckless part. Worse than that, I replaced it with an extreme fear of doing almost anything remotely dangerous. I’m not even sure when along the way I lost this part. But at some point I stopped putting myself out there. I stopped making friends. I stopped trying new things. I moved into my little box and stayed there. I almost didn’t go out on the first date with my wife, because I was so scared.
It makes me wonder how many things I’ve missed in my life because I’ve been too scared to step out and try. I’m not saying that I want to go back to that total reckless abandon. But I really do wish I hadn’t lost that crazy streak. I think life would be a lot more fun if I were willing to try new things and step outside my little comfortable box once in a while. I might fall down sometimes. But I would at least be moving and hopefully in a forward direction.
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