Dreams, and what's become of them

So I think I’ve decided to try to write a little on here every night. Can’t promise it will happen. But I’m going to try. It may not always be coherent either, but that’s because I might be doing it in the middle of the night while everyone else is asleep. I’m also going to be trying to keep these fairly short. I read a lot of blogs and there are a few that just seem to get too long sometimes and I just don’t feel like reading all of that. So, I’m going to try not to put you through that either.

But what am I going to write about? I’m still not entirely sure. I know that I’d like to talk about my life as a stay at home dad, but I’d also like to talk about some other things.

Tonight I think I’m going to talk about the dreams that I’ve always had for my life and where some of them have gone off track.

I can honestly say that I never thought I would be where I am today. To be honest, I didn’t even think about the future very much until I met my wife in college. I never really wanted to be a dad. I truly didn’t even know if I wanted to make it to my 30th birthday. But that all changed when I met my wife. I could see myself growing old with her. I could see myself getting married and having kids. I now looked forward to the future and what it might hold.

But there is one thing that I think I forgot along the way. Finding a career path. I’ve never really known what I wanted to do with my life. And so as I’ve grown a little older and made it into my thirties, I find myself kind of floundering. Not sure what I want to do, or what I should do.

I was working part-time at Borders when we had our first kid. There was no way that with my ever lower hours there, that I would be able to even come close to paying for day care. So, we decided that it would be best for me to stay home. I can honestly say that this was probably the second best choice that I’ve made in my life. The first being to ask Jennifer to marry me.

But at the same time, I went into it very naive and blind. I’ve always had a passion for writing and playing music. So, I thought I would have all of this free time at home watching my son, that I would just be able to write music and stories. Start a blog or two. I would eventually start making a living doing this and be able to contribute to my family finances in some way.

But, as you’ll know if you’ve ever tried to get something done with a kid around, that was next to impossible.

Well, I think it’s time for me to head to bed. Need to get some sleep. I’m sure I’ll come back to this topic at some point in the future. But that’s all I have for tonight.

Thanks for reading.