Drowning in conversations

This past Sunday, in our church, we talked about hospitality. This is definitely one of my weaker points I feel.

For the most part I don't feel like this is something that I'm ever going to be good at.

But during the sermon, I felt God telling me that maybe, for me, hospitality doesn't have to mean letting people into my home. That is just not something I'm really comfortable with in my life. At least for right now.

But maybe for me it should take form in how I talk to people.I would say that I'm usually friendly, and I don't think very many people would think that I could be anything but nice and friendly with people.

But I've noticed as of late, that I really only take my conversations with people to a surface level.

I've said it before on here I'm sure, but in real like, unlike here, I'm very hesitant to share anything. I'm scared to say the wrong thing, and so I don't say anything.

Part of it has to do with never really learning how to talk in a conversation. I have an extremely hard time finding my place in a conversation. So, I just stay at the surface, or I find myself answering questions, but never asking any or really giving any more information then just a quick answer.

I feel like I spend most of my conversations with people looking for a way out.

This is something I really don't like about myself.

I feel that it's led me to a place of isolation.

The thing is, that I don't believe God has called me to a life of isolation.

Maybe the way back from this self imposed island prison, is to swim into the conversations around me. Try to find my way into greeting others and finding ways to work at staying afloat.

I'll probably find myself drowning a few times. But hopefully I can keep my head above water and try and tell people about myself before I go down.