Starting anew

So, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what I should be doing with my life.

I feel like I’ve been adrift for a while now with no real purpose to anything that I did.

I’ve looked at myself and seen someone who I don’t understand or really recognize.

I’m tired of the way things just seem to be passing me by.

I feel like I’m not really doing anything worthwhile with my life.

Like I’m just wondering aimlessly.

The problem is that I can see all of this and yet can’t really seem to find anyway out of it.

I’m tired of feeling lost.

I’m tired of feeling like the before picture.

I’m tired of feeling like I’m not doing what I’m supposed to.

I’m tired.

Yet I can’t seem to find what I should do.

I keep having these plans and thoughts run through my head.

But I just don’t make them happen.

Then another plan has passed me by.

Add another shovelful of dirt on my coffin.

I cry out to God for a rope to pull me out.

Yet it feels like when one is thrown down, I refuse to grab a hold of it.

I’m my own worst enemy.

It’s probably not even someone else adding the dirt, but me burying myself.

I just want to reach out and grab the rope.

To claw my way out of this pit.

God give me the strength today to grab a hold of Your rope and try to find my way out of this darkness.