The light

As I’ve been working nights, I’ve noticed that towards the end of my shift as I’m starting to drag and the exhaustion is setting in, there comes a point where the sun comes up and you can see it flood in through the skylights and the front doors.

Even though before the sun comes up, it’s no where near dark in the store I realized that it makes the store so much brighter.

At first I thought it was just because that meant my shift was almost over and I was happy to be done.

But then I figured out that you can’t always see the dark until someone shines a light into it.

I know this is also true in my life.

In my darkest times, I haven’t always been able to see how far gone I was, until after someone shined a light into my darkness.

Then I can see just how dark thing were.

So, thank you to all those who have brought light into my life.

It would be a darker place without you there.

Stories to tell

This may seem like a small thing to most people, but it hit me last Friday morning as I was telling Jennifer about my first night of work, that it was great to have things to tell her for once.

I don’t like to say it, but there were times while I was staying home, that I would resent Jennifer and all of her stories about her day at work.

Not because I didn’t care about what was happening in her life, but because I had no stories to tell.

There are only so many times you can say that Chloe napped and maybe I did too, before she’s heard it and doesn’t want to hear it again.

So, it left me feeling empty sometimes to hear all the fun things she would do, and to have nothing to add to the conversation.

As I was telling Jennifer about my night, I realized why I didn’t always like hearing about her days.

It was a great feeling to finally have stories to share and I can’t wait share the things I’ll learn with all of you too.

You are not alone

As anyone who reads this blog very often knows I’ve struggled with depression for most of my life.

I found this video this week and it really spoke to me.

I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone.

Things I’ve learned

Over the last 10 days, I’ve taken time to write  some of the things I’ve learned over the last 10 years of being married.

One of the things that I’ve learned over the last few days is that I truly know nothing.

As I’ve thought about each of the things that I wrote about I realized that only being married for 10 years really doesn’t give me much right to talk like an expert.

I look at the people in our lives that have been married for so much longer and I think that I don’t have a right to speak on these things.

But then I realized that, while I may not be an expert on it, I can still speak to the things that I’ve learned.

I can only hope that over the next years I will continue to learn from the things life sends our way.

The main thing that I have learned is that I love my wife and family and I wouldn’t want to be on this adventure with anyone else.

1. That I want to grow old with her

This kind of sums up everything that I’ve said over the last 10 days.

Before I met Jennifer I didn’t see a future.

Now there is nothing more I want in this world, than to spend the rest of my life beside this beautiful woman.

She truly has changed my life and continues to bring nothing but pure joy to my life.

I’ve seen the love with our parents and grandparents grow over time, and I can’t wait to be that old couple walking down the street hand in hand.

She truly is my other half, and I would be lost without her.

2. That expressing oneself in a loving relationship can bring you closer

One of the things that I’ve learned over the last 10 years, is that as we’ve learned to talk to each other and learned how to show our love to each other, we’ve grown closer and closer.

It seems like there are times where we don’t even have to say things to each other for the other one to know what we mean.

It’s brought about a great sense of closeness in our relationship.

I know that we have only been married for 10 years, and that truly isn’t all that long.

But there are times where it feels like we’ve known each other forever.

There are times when all she needs to do is smile for me to know what’s she’s meaning.

I know that this bond will only grow with time.

3. That no matter what culture says, being with one women for the rest of your life is amazing

Culture would tell us that it’s boring to be with only one person for the rest of your life.

I know that I’ve only been married for 10 years, but I can’t imagine being with anyone else.

Waking up next to Jennifer has been one the best things in my life.

To look over and see her beautiful face so peaceful and resting.

I’ve fallen in love with Jennifer in new ways all the time.

We fell in love in college, when things like family seemed so far away.

Then I fell for her as my wife as she became my other half.

Then we had kids and I fell in love with her as a mother.

But most of all since our relationship started, she has been my best friend and my confidant.

She truly has been a gift from God in my life.

One that I know I didn’t deserve.