God can use even a sinner like me

I was reading this morning and in both my scripture and my devotional, which are separate plans, the same theme came up.

So, I’m taking God’s advice and I’m gonna go ahead and write on this again. I’m pretty sure I’ve talked about this before. But maybe I’ll have some new insight today.

I was reading in 1 Timothy 1, where Paul is talking about being the worst of sinners, and yet through God’s grace and mercy God is able to use Paul to His glory.

In my devotional Billy Graham talked about St. Augustine and John Newton, who were both not good men before they had an encounter with God and were forever changed.

It brought to my mind that it seems like God chooses to use the worst and lowest of sinners to do His greatest works.

It seems so contrary to the way most people would think to do things.

But I do believe that He does this very much on purpose and for a specific reason.

God chooses to do this, so that it can be shown as Him working through us and not just us doing things on our own power. He changes that hearts and minds of people who seem unlovable and unchangeable, so that we might be able to see God working and know that the things people do they are definitely not doing on their own, but through the grace and power of God.

I also believe that God uses those of us that don’t think we can do anything good. All we have to do is trust Him and step out into the things we feel He is calling us to.

I know there are many times when I don’t feel I am worth much of anything, and that I don’t think anybody should even bother to listen to me. What do I know that others don’t already know? What do I have to say that hasn’t already been said? Why would anyone really want to listen to me at all?

And yet God calls to me time and time again to share my thoughts. To share my voice. To step out into the water and trust that He will keep me safe.

I guess what I’m trying to say, is that God has a way of using those of us that couldn’t do any of this without Him. On my own I would have no wisdom to share with you. No songs to sing. No words to hear.

But with Him I can do all things.

This is amazing grace

Over my life, I’ve been struck by the grace that God has shown me.

By no means am I deserving of any of the things that God has given to me.

In fact, I would say that I have wasted and taken advantage of most of the gifts God has given to me in my life.

But yet the amazing thing about God is that no matter how many times I fall short, He is right there to pick me up and dust me off.

He has always been there.

Even in the times when I didn’t think He was. He was there.

Even in the times when I ran away from Him. He was there.

No matter how many times I’ve spit in His face and turned my back on Him.

He is still there.

Waiting patiently.

With a loving smile on His face.

And outstretched arms.

Just waiting for me to run back and except the ever abundant grace that He has stored up for me.

The real question is; Why do I, knowing this, still turn my back and run?

Open for interpretation

First off, sorry for the long hiatus. It’s been a long, crazy, hectic, and busy summer. But hopefully I can now get back into the habit of writing some more.

I wrote a whole post today and then deleted it because I realized that I wasn’t sure if the stories actually connected the way I had originally thought they did.

If they did, then I promise you I made some great points and it was a great post.

If they didn’t, which at the end of it I just wasn’t sure anymore, then I still may have made some good points but it really wouldn’t have been a good post in my opinion.

But, it brought to mind how easy it is to read the Bible and connect things in it in any way you want to. You can twist the words around anyway you want to prove any point you want.

This is true with anything. But I think is used more with interpreting the Bible than anything else.

We have our opinions and we search through the Bible to find things that back up our point and use them to prove everyone else wrong.

If you are pro-war, you focus on God calling and leading the Israelites into battle. But completely ignore the verse “Blessed are the peacemakers.”

I could do many more examples, but all that would do is get certain people mad at me and have them thinking that because I used it as an example it is the way I believe.

This problem is one of the reasons, I believe, God gave us the church.

If we all went on just how we were to read the Bible, there would be millions of different religions all believing different things.

But if we can come together and openly talk about the ways we interpret the Bible, and listen to the ways others do, then we can find it’s true meaning.

The Book Of Job

As I’ve struggled with my depression in my life, I’ve always kind of looked to Job as a favorite book in the Bible.

I’m not even really sure why, because I can’t remember if I’ve ever fully read the book of Job.

But I’ve always looked to him and all of the things that he went through as a source of inspiration.

Today I think I figured out why I haven’t been able to actually read the book and like it as much as I always thought I would.

I think I looked to him and thought I would read the book in the midst of my depression and find someone going through worse things and wallowing in his sorrows like I was.

But today I noticed something much different as I read chapter 1, and it may make him someone to look up to even more as I go through rough patches in life.

As all of the things in his life are being stripped away one after another, he rips his clothes and throws himself down in his sorrow.

But even as he does this, he lifts up God, and praises Him.

He doesn’t curse God for taking all of the things that God has given to him.

He praises God and says that all of the things in his life were gifts from God.

I know that throughout the book of Job, he does start to question God about why these things are happening to him.

But in those questions he never curses God.

He believes that God is good and that God is there with him in all of his troubles.

I find this amazing, because I find it hard not to get upset when things take a little longer than I wanted them to, let alone when things go wrong.

Lost in translation

So today I had a post partially written in my head while reading scripture.

Than I started to try and write it down.

It just didn’t make any sense when I was writing it out.

I tried reading the scripture again.

But I couldn’t get it back to where I had it in my head.

I think I’ve spent so much time thinking things through in my head and then forgetting them, that I still find it hard, at times to process these thoughts into words on a screen.

When it starts to become real

I was thinking more about my post yesterday and the reasons that I’ve been kind of inconsistent in my posts lately.

I came to a thought that stopped me.

It’s becoming real.

This thing that I thought was just something to do in my spare time, is becoming real.

Before it was easy to write and even easy to not write, because it was easy to say that it didn’t matter.

But lately this has changed for me.

It’s not that I’ve really that many readers, but the ones I do have seem to enjoy it, and I’m starting to take it more seriously.

It’s not just something to do now.

It’s something I care about. Sometimes I think maybe even a little too much.

I always told myself I wanted to be a writer. But when people would ask me about it, I was quick to say that I don’t really do it much anymore.

While it’s true that my previous means of writing, mainly music, had mostly stopped, I’ve been writing more than ever in a different way.

I enjoy expressing myself in this way here.

I don’t think it’s ever anything I thought I would do. But now that I am, it’s something I can see myself doing.

I enjoy expanding on the things God points out to me in His scripture.

I never thought that I would. The last thing I ever thought I would do was teach people about the Bible.

It’s been strange for me to except where this whole journey has brought me.

But I trust that God is in control and will continue to lead me as I continue to try to follow.

Laziness kills me…

So, I think I’ve come up against the thing that hurts me most in my life.

I’m lazy.

This may not seem like a big deal most of the time.

But when you’re a stay at home dad who is also trying to do something with a blog and hopefully some other projects, laziness is really destructive.

I’d like to blame my lack of consistency on here on something else.

Last week my daughter decided to sleep during the day and stay awake and keep me awake all night. So, I got out of my habit of writing in the mornings because I was exhausted.

But the truth is, I had plenty of time to write while I was up all night.

But that would mean I would have had to say no to the next episode on Netflix, and it’s much easier to hit next then turn it off and move to something else.

I’m trying very hard to get myself into habits and patterns that will help me break this laziness.

But it is proving to be a hard mistress to break.